“Yes,” he said, his voice careful. “She’s dead. And the things I’m dealing with, the things that keep me from being everything I want to be with you, are related to that.”

“And you don’t want to talk about that either.”

He sighed. “I…I can’t. It’s not fair, I know.”

I shrugged, trying not to feel bad. This was progress, wasn’t it? Then why did I still feel so shut out?

“Gwen.” It was the same tone he’d used before. The don’t. I felt him saying it now with his body, with the plea in his voice.

He set the ice pack down again and gently brushed a stray hair off my face. Then he traced his thumb along my jaw, the side that was uninjured. Swept it tenderly across my skin. “I didn’t want to love you, Gwen. Not just because it wasn’t the right time, but because I didn’t want it to be possible to lose that much again.”

My pulse picked up, the hurt from a moment ago already erased with his new words. “But you do? Love me?”

Shit, I sounded eager. And hopeful. And happy.

“I do.” He dropped his hand. “That’s pretty much all I can give you right now. I can’t tell you the things you want to know. I can’t let you in on the rest of my life. Not yet. But I love you. I can give you that. Is that enough?”

It was honest and heartfelt, and for as many walls that he had surrounding him, I could still feel his earnest desire to connect. His sincere want to be with me. His utter and truthful love for me.

Was there anything else I really needed from him?

“It’s enough,” I said, my hands trembling in my lap. “For now, at least. I’ve been sticking around for a lot less. Not that really great sex is anything to scoff at.”

“Really great sex?” His smile was boyish, reaching all the way to his eyes. “Not just great sex but really great sex?”

I kicked him in the thigh then threw his own words back at him. “Don’t act like that surprises you. I know you know it is.”

He laughed, then cupped his hand behind my neck and pulled my face to his. He gave me one gentle, restrained kiss. “I want to kiss you more than this, but I’m worried I’m going to hurt you.”

“My mouth is completely fine.” Even if it weren’t, I would have endured the pain, because I needed to kiss him. Needed to feel his words in action.

“Thank God.” His words became muffled as he crushed his lips to mine. As gentle as he’d been with my face, he was equally rough with his kiss. He bruised me. He marked me, and I let him.

When I threw my arms around his neck and wove my fingers through his hair, I remembered how we’d kissed that day in March. How I’d felt free and light. How that glorious kiss had turned into something sad and empty when he’d turned me away. I’d realized that as liberated as he made me feel, I was now shackled in a new way, bound to JC with all my heart.

Which was only a bad thing if he went cold like he had before.

The thought of it brought a dark cloud over me. I pulled away.

JC didn’t let me go, one hand still at my neck, one around my waist. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He searched my face.

I tried to shake it off. “Nothing. No. I mean…” I decided to be honest with him. “I’m scared you’ll push me away again.”

He lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry I did that.” He lifted his gaze back to mine and stroked my good cheek with his fingers, so sweetly. With love. With adoration. “I was an asshole. I was falling for you, and I got scared. I didn’t know what I should do.”

Was I an idiot to believe things would be different this time? When I could still taste the pain of his rejection on my tongue?

“I still don’t know what I should do,” I said. But I knew what I would do—anything he wanted. He was my warden. I belonged to him.

“Well,” he fingered the collar of my shirt. “Do you love me?”

“I know that you know that I do.” I grinned a little too widely and gasped as the ache reignited in my face.

JC promptly returned the ice pack to my cheek, concern etched on his features. I covered his hand with mine. Then, because I hadn’t said it yet and I didn’t think it was fair to not let him hear the words, I said, “I do love you. Very much.”

His eyes brightened, but his face remained somber, serious. Desperate, even. “Then come be with me. Stay with me today. Tonight.”

“But it’s Tuesday.”

Now he smiled. Lacing his free hand through mine, he said, “I know what day it is. Be with me every day.”

And so I would.

Chapter Sixteen

When we got to our hotel room, JC fed me pain relievers and water. Then we stripped to our underwear and headed straight for the bed, where I promptly fell asleep. He held me as I let oblivion overtake me, kissing my face and neck every so often, and almost every time I stirred, I found him still there. The day’s events had exhausted me, and I slept until almost ten at night. But when I awoke, I felt refreshed and new and cared for.

Breakfast-slash-dinner greeted me. “I tried to order eggs and bacon,” JC said, bringing me a tray with a sandwich and fries. “The grilled cheese and bacon was the closest I could get until the Owl menu at eleven.”

I sat up against the headboard and took the tray. “I don’t think I’ve ever had coffee with grilled cheese.” I added a sugar substitute and took a sip from the mug.

“Should I have gotten something else?”

“Nope. This is perfect.” It was comfort food. And I was starving. I’d already eaten half of a sandwich by the time JC got into bed beside me with his tray. He’d ordered the same, minus the coffee.

After we were both settled, he handed me three Advil from a bottle on his nightstand. “How are you feeling?”

“All right. This will help.” I swallowed the pills. “Actually, my body almost aches as much as my face.” I must have really tightened up when I realized Dad was going to strike. I was out of practice.

JC shifted so he could knead the tension in my shoulders. “God, you’re all knots. I’ll run you a bath when you’re done eating.”

“Just me? Or will you join me?” The attentive boyfriend was sweet, but it was unfamiliar and somewhat awkward. And with the bruises from my father marking my face, his treatment felt a little like pity. I’d never sensed it from him before, and I hoped a little time together, slippery and naked, would fix that. “Because I hope you’ll join me.”