Keiran didn’t bother to acknowledge her. It was Q who spoke up. “Your mother is looking for you, Diana.”

* * *

Keiran threatened to handcuff me to the steering wheel if I wouldn’t come willingly, and he was mad—and crazy—enough for me to believe him, so I thanked Di for her hospitality, ignored Jesse, who pleaded with his eyes for forgiveness, and said goodbye.

Keiran actually scolded me when we drove away. Q had driven his own car but stayed behind to deal with the aftermath. Jesse sat in the back seat fidgeting, and I secretly enjoyed his discomfort. His loyalty had clearly shifted so as long as Keiran and I were at odds, he was the enemy.

“Lake, I’m sorry—”

“Shut it,” Keiran and I ordered simultaneously. I watched Keiran’s jaw tighten as he kept his gaze fixed on the road. I managed to keep my expression neutral when he sensed my stare and glanced toward me. In my peripheral, I caught Jesse looking between us as if we’d grown two heads.

“Why did you bring him anyway?”

“He wanted to make sure you and he didn’t do anything stupid,” Jesse answered sarcastically. I ignored him and faced forward again. Only five more hours of uncomfortable tension to go.

At some point, I’d fallen asleep and slept through Keiran dropping off Jesse and driving us home. It wasn’t until I felt his arms around me and he lifted me that I woke up.

“Welcome home,” he taunted. I looked up and was blinded by his shit-eating grin and wondered how bad things could get if I slapped it off his face.

“Don’t be so smug. I could always handcuff you to the bed again and this time, throw away the key.”

The anger in his eyes should have scared me, but it tickled me with delight instead. “Don’t ever do that again,” he warned.

“You handcuff me all the time. Is there some kind of double standard to foreplay now?”

“Have I ever handcuffed you and ran away?”

“I thought I’d shake things up a bit so our sex life doesn’t go stale.”

I didn’t expect him to drop me on the couch and step back. I expected him to try and overpower me with his male ego. He only stared down at me as if trying to piece together a tough equation. It was then I realized how exhausted he appeared. Stress lines decorated his forehead and the bags underneath his eyes took away from the striking irises.

“I was really okay,” I said, giving in. “I just needed to think and… I was scared.” I sucked in as much air as I could to hide the alarm that blared within.

When had admitting fear become so hard? Once upon a time, I lived in fear until it was as natural as breathing.

“I’m scaring myself.”

He hesitated and then sat down next to me. “You’re scaring me, too.” I couldn’t recall a time when I’d heard him speak so softly. It turns out Mitch’s death and my lies were leading to a lot of firsts for us.

Keiran had admitted he was afraid and it was because of me.

“So what do we do about it?”

He shook his head and stared deep into my eyes. “Just answer one question first. Did I do this?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Did loving me do this to you?”

“I don’t know,” I answered reluctantly. “I only know I wanted to do anything I could to keep you around even it if meant corrupting myself along the way.”

He blew out a harsh breath. “I don’t know if I can accept that. I don’t want you corrupted. I never wanted that for you.”

My heart rate accelerated and my chest grew too tight. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t—

“Ar—are you breaking up with me?” He looked as surprised by his words as I was.

“I probably should…”

No.

He leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes tight. I wanted to scream and demand he open them again. I needed to see his eyes. I needed to know if this was real.

“…but there isn’t a muscle in my body strong enough to do what’s right when it comes to you.”

I stared at him in disbelief. When he opened his eyes a tiny fraction to gaze at me, I launched myself into his lap and buried close.

“Don’t,” I found myself pleading.

“I won’t.”

“Don’t think about it anymore either.”

“I’m not.”

“Good.” My hand followed its own command and slapped him with all the strength I had left—the only strength he didn’t take from me with his brief surrender to his conscience.