“What do you think?”

“I think you’re sexier than ever. Perfect even.”

His hand came between my thighs and slid up until his fingertips rested just underneath the flimsy nightgown.

“Perfect?” I could barely manage to speak the word when his fingers briefly strummed my sex before moving away as if it never happened.

“Perfect,” he repeated. “It’s too bad really.” A kiss on my shoulder left me needing more than just a promising threat.

“Why is that?”

“Because you won’t be when I’m through with you. I’m going to be the devil you made of me.”

“Maybe you were always this person, and the guy I fell in love with was the façade.”

He turned me around to face him with his hands on my hips. “Congratulations, Shelly. You’re finally thinking with your head.”

He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me. “It’s too bad your head isn’t needed for what I’m about to do to you.”

“I never said I wanted to fuck you.”

“You didn’t have to. Your body tells me everything I need to know.” He trailed his hand up my thigh and rested it just where my thigh met my sex. “Your pussy doesn’t lie either. I can feel all this heat between us right… here.” He trailed a finger down my sex and my traitorous body quivered.

“Because you don’t play fair.” I pushed the towel from his hips and he yanked the gown over my head. My hand immediately gripped his cock and guided him inside me.

“I never claimed to,” he groaned when he was seated fully.

“Then what do we do now?”

“We fuck.” His lips met mine at the same time he began to move inside me. My legs wrapped tighter around his waist, and I pulled him into me. His dark gaze pinned me to the bed just before his hands did. “Only I control this fuck, baby, so let go and let me.”

I had to grab onto his hips to handle the harsh but slow possession of his body. It was the same song and dance every time I gave into him. It was me fighting not to let him see how much I craved the surrender.

* * * * *

He rolled onto his back, taking me with him, and stared up at the ceiling. My limbs felt like rubber and my entire body ached from overuse including the forbidden parts.

Keenan had explored me thoroughly throughout the night. My mouth and ass had taken the brunt of his lust.

“Why did you change your mind?” I whispered into the dark.

“About?”

“Taking Kennedy away from me.”

“I never took her away from you, and even if I had, nothing’s changed, Shelly. I’m still the bad guy.”

“Protecting yourself doesn’t have to mean hurting others. You don’t have to be that cruel.”

“You want to know about cruelty? There is nothing worse than being in love with someone you want to hate.”

“What are you saying?”

“I think you know.”

I did, but some things were better left in the dark. I definitely didn’t want to believe it.

We each gave in to our private thoughts. The rise and fall of his chest was starting to lure me to sleep until my mind began screaming for me to ask the question that still stood between the two of us.

“Why did you fuck her?”

He was silent for so long I thought he might have fallen asleep until his heavy sigh told me he wasn’t. “Because I would have lost you either way. At least the way I chose I knew I could have a chance at keeping you and you would be okay.”

“What do you mean you would have lost me? Where would I have gone?”

“Let it go, Shelly.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You don’t have a choice.” I sat up and searched his face, maybe hoping he would give in, but his steely gaze met mine unwaveringly. “Drop. It.”

“One of these days, I’m going to finally accept that you will never stop being a coward.” I moved to my side and faced away from him while fighting back tears.

For the longest time, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of my incessant sniffling until he spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. “You read those text messages but did you understand them?”

What?

“I read enough.” There weren’t many between them, and after four years, I could probably only guess that there were no more than a handful spanning two weeks.

“No, Shelly. You didn’t.”

* * * * *

FOUR YEARS AGO