Fall to You Page 22
The servers are clearing our plates when Will stands from his seat next to Cally at the head table. People clink their forks against their glasses, and he smiles as the room grows silent.
“I just wanted to say a few words before we send you all on your way tonight,” he begins. “As you all know, I’ve been in love with Cally since high school.”
“Poor girl moved across the country and still couldn’t escape you,” Sam calls out.
Will chuckles, but his face goes serious again as he turns to his bride. “Love isn’t easy. Not the good kind. At least it hasn’t been for us. There have been a lot of obstacles, but we made it here. Cally and I?” He grins at her. “We’re meant to be together. I knew that from the beginning. When I was a teenager, I thought that was all it took, but I learned that destiny—or whatever you want to call it—that’s not enough. We had to fight for each other.” Cally looks up at him, adoration clear in her eyes, and when he meets her gaze, it’s so clear the feeling is mutual that my chest aches with envy. “I’m not perfect, Cally, but you do make me better. If I have to, I’ll fight for you over and over again, and I’ll point to every battle scar and tell our kids, ‘Totally worth it.’”
I feel Max’s eyes on me, and when I turn to him, the intensity in his gaze takes my breath away. I can’t imagine what this weekend must be like for him when our own wedding is supposed to follow in only two weeks.
Will turns to the rest of the room. “We owe so much thanks to you all too. The Thompson girls—Hanna, Liz, and Maggie—you gave Cally the friends she needed when she returned to New Hope, and I thank you for that. To the jerks I call my friends—Sam, Max, Asher—I know this wedding stuff isn’t your favorite, but you’re here anyway. In the time we’ve been friends, you’ve proven you’d drop just about anything for me if I asked you to. I appreciate you. Everyone, thank you for being here. It was tempting to skip the whole to-do, especially after my…ahem…prior difficulties with weddings.” His cheeks actually turn a little pink as the crowd laughs. “But we decided not to get married on the beach in Maui. We wanted you with us. You’ve helped make our lives so awesome. Now let’s drink some wine and hurry toward the part of this weekend where this woman becomes mine forever.”
Applause fills the room as Cally hops out of her seat, wraps her arms around Will’s neck, and kisses him silly.
Again, there’s that ache in my chest. I don’t begrudge them their connection or their happiness. I wouldn’t want any less for my friends. But I do envy them. Just last week, I thought my life was headed in the same direction as theirs—not just the wedding and honeymoon, but the shared life. The laughter and connection. The inside jokes and…togetherness. Having a partner when life throws shit at you. I thought I’d have that with Max.
He’s watching me, but his face is unreadable. Is he thinking the same thing? Or does he resent me for betraying him with Nate?
“Why don’t you two go dance?” Mom asks.
Max stands and offers me his hand. “May I?”
I nod, place my hand in his, and follow him to the dance floor, where I wrap my arms around his neck and pretend we’re the engaged couple Mom thinks we are.
“Relax,” he murmurs in my ear. “It’s just a dance.”
I didn’t realize how stiff I was holding myself. I rest my head on his shoulder. My whole body is exhausted after a day that started before five a.m. and has been go-go-go ever since, and my body turns to mush as I melt against his heat and the comfort of his breath against my ear.
46. Max
HANNA SMELLS so damn good. I don’t want to let her go. Which is a really f**king bad idea. I need to let her go. I need to put some space between us, go home, and try to sleep—something I haven’t done much of this week. But instead, I’ll stay here as long as I can, holding her in my arms and pretending this is real.
Pretend. After months of pretend, I thought we were past that, but here we are again, and maybe it serves me right. It’s my punishment for not seeing what was in front of my nose for so many years.
“They’re perfect for each other, aren’t they?” Hanna rests her cheek on my chest and watches Cally and William on the other side of the dance floor. “He loves her so much. She didn’t believe he’d ever be able to forgive her for her mistakes, but look at them now.”
I don’t know the whole story of what happened between Will and Cally, but I know enough to understand that their love is truly unconditional. “When you love someone, you can forgive them anything.”
She lifts her head, her dark brown eyes locking on mine. “We both screwed up, didn’t we?”
I nod, my throat thick as she reaches up to brush my hair from my face. Earlier today, I was thinking how much I needed a damn haircut, but now I’m glad it’s falling in my eyes.
“Do you ever wonder if things could have gone differently between us?”
“Every day.”
She nods. “Me too.”
“Things have a way of working out,” I promise, brushing her stomach with my thumb. “No matter what happens, you’ll never regret them.”
“What’s it like?” she asks, fingertips still resting on my jaw. “Being a parent?”
“It’s…awesome.” I clear my throat and swallow back emotion. “But in the literal sense of the word, not the clichéd sense. You’re going to make an amazing mother.”
My eyes burn at the thought and my chest feels too full. How many times have I pictured Hanna’s stomach rounding out with a child? How many times have I rocked Claire to sleep and wanted to share the feeling with the woman I love?
“Can I ask you a question?”
I nod. She can ask me anything she wants if it means I get to keep her in my arms.
“When everything settles down and we don’t have to pretend anymore…will you be with Meredith?”
“No.” I hate that she even has to ask. I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not interested in Meredith anymore, but I obviously haven’t done a very good job.
“But she wants you. And you said yourself you’ve been in love with her most of your life.”
Three soft little tendrils have slipped from her twist at the nape of her neck, and I take one between my fingers as I respond. “I thought it was love once. But that was before I knew what it was like to be in love with you.”
Her lips part and her gaze dips to my lips. “You say these things—”
“Go ahead and kiss her, Max!” Sam calls from the other side of the dance floor. “You guys are next!”
Several people around him call out in agreement, and all eyes land on us.
Hanna nods almost imperceptibly, giving me the permission I need before I lower my mouth to hers. I mean for it to just be a touch of lips, enough to appease the curious people staring at us, but the second my lips touch hers, she melts into me, and I can’t resist tasting her for another second, memorizing the sweetness of her mouth under mine. I’ll be there for her. I’ll be the friend she needs when she raises her babies, but she’s made it clear that’s all we can be. I can’t rush this last kiss before I have to let go of this part of our relationship forever.
47. Hanna
“I HAVE a buttload of flowers to pick up from the florist to put on Cally’s cake tomorrow. Would you mind the extra stop?” The sky is filled with stars tonight, and I take a minute to breathe it in as Max opens my door.
“Flower shop and then the bakery?” he asks as I climb in.
With a grateful smile, I nod. Then, for some reason I’m not entirely sure of, I lift onto my toes and press my lips to his. He freezes for a moment. Probably because no one’s watching and there wasn’t any reason for me to kiss him.
Slowly, he cups my jaw with his big hand, and when I part my lips under his, he sweeps his tongue inside my mouth. The kiss is slow and tender, and it reminds me of the early days of our relationship, when I was so nervous about my body that kissing and over-the-clothes groping was as wild at it got.
When we break the kiss, I can’t deny the sadness in his eyes, and guilt sweeps over me. What’s wrong with me that I couldn’t see his love for me for what it was? Why did I let Meredith control my perception of Max?
I want to apologize, but the words turn to dust on my tongue. Are there any apologies more difficult than the ones we owe the most?
He kisses my forehead before heading around to his side of the car.
“Thank you for tonight,” I whisper as he starts the car. “It meant a lot to me.”
He takes my hand and presses my knuckles to his lips. Then he puts the car in gear and starts driving to the florist.
“We’re here,” he whispers, lightly brushing my hair from my face. “I’ll take the flowers into the cooler. You can go up to bed.”
I blink at him. I was so tired that I must have fallen asleep. I shouldn’t let him do this without my help, but every cell in my body seems to be demanding more sleep now.
“Okay,” I murmur.
He helps me out of the car and watches me walk up the stairs before he turns back to get the flowers.
At my door, I dig in my purse for my keys, and when I wrap my fingers around them, I realize my mistake. He’s going to need the key to the bakery. I peek over the balcony and frown when I see the back door open and light flooding into the alley as Max hauls the giant flower box inside.
I look down at my keys then back at the door. “How…?” Slowly, I make my way back down the stairs and into the bakery. Max is locking up the walk-in cooler when I step inside.
He gives me a soft smile. “I thought you were going to bed.”
“You know,” I start carefully. I look around my commercial kitchen with new eyes. “I really thought Nate Crane was the silent partner. I thought he just wasn’t admitting it. But I was wrong.”
“Hmm.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “Maybe it’s just a private investor and nothing personal.”
I take a breath, my heart heavy and full. “This was personal. The apartment upstairs, the care that was put into the remodel.”
He turns his head and studies the gleaming stainless-steel countertops. “Whoever it was should have spent the extra money on putting those stairs inside the building. Then you wouldn’t have to go outside every time you needed to get between the apartment and the bakery. And maybe you wouldn’t have fallen.”
“I think he did more than enough,” I whisper.
He shrugs. “I’m just glad you get your bakery.”
“Were you ever going to tell me that you’re the one behind all this? That you’re the one who set it all up for me to live my dream?”
He drags a hand through his hair and studies the ground.
“Max. Look at me.”
He shifts his eyes to meet mine. “It was your dream. I knew you didn’t believe in yourself enough to do it on your own. But I believed in you. I’ve always believed in you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”
Oh, God. How could I have been so wrong about him? “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t really intend for it to be a secret. I was in the middle of investigating the opportunity to buy this building when you broke up with me, and when it looked like it could work, I didn’t want you to think there were strings attached. I had to find a way to give this to you without you believing the gift was contingent on marrying me.” He shrugs awkwardly.
“Max,” I whisper. And then I can’t help it anymore. I cross to him, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him hard. Because Max gave me something more than a dream. He gave me the dream and put it in New Hope the way only someone who was raised here would understand to do. Any other investor would have wanted me to go to the city or take a bigger location off the historic New Hope square. Max didn’t just give me the dream. He gave me the dream wrapped up in home.
I make myself pull away and leave it at a chaste kiss, but as I lower back down to my heels, his hands come up to cup my face, and then he’s lowering his mouth to mine and kissing me back—sweetly, softly, and with a tender love I’m not sure I deserve.
His fingers slide into my hair and he releases the clip and lets it fall down around my shoulders. Then his hands are sliding down my body and under my ass and he’s hoisting me up on the counter and parting my thighs to step between them. When he returns his mouth to mine, his kiss is harder than before. Deeper. Stronger. It’s the kiss of a man who has found something he thought he lost. The kiss of a man who will do whatever it takes to hold on.
And I kiss him back in the same way, the love and the pain in my chest wrapping around and through each other until they are one and the same. They are the disease and the remedy. They are the poison and the antidote. They fill me and whisper to me until I know the only thing that can make the hurt go away is this man’s kiss.
“Come upstairs with me,” I whisper against his lips.
He releases his breath in a rush. “Hanna. That’s not why—”
“I know.” I want to kiss away the sadness in his eyes. I want to take away the pain I put there. “I know,” I repeat, taking his hand.
Carefully, he helps me off the counter. “Okay.”
He follows me up the stairs, and the minute the door closes behind him, my fingers start at the buttons on his shirt. I need Max. Naked. Against me. Now.
He stops my hands with one of his. “Can we just…” He closes his eyes like he’s not sure where to start. “I love you. I don’t want to rush this.” He brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “I don’t want to scare you away.”