Everlasting Page 34
Alrik’s arm is tossed around my waist, anchoring me tightly to him. Our bodies conforming, pressed so snugly together I can feel the beat of his heart at my back, the rustle of his breath at my ear. And I’m determined to sink into the feel of it, to push aside any stray worries, any lingering fears, in favor of this moment together. Eager for tomorrow, when our exchange of vows will allow us to love each other freely, openly—no longer relegated to vacant horse stalls, or secluded spots in the forest that surrounds my parents’ house. No longer forced to pull ourselves back just when the moment becomes truly heated.
It’s a change I look forward to.
But those are the kinds of thoughts my conscious mind is all too happy to dwell on, the moment I fall unconscious my guard slips and a long list of worries seeps in. Manifesting themselves in the strange language that only dreams speak, immersing me in a bleak and foreign landscape where Alrik is nowhere near and a dark hooded being chases me.
I race through brambles and bushes. I race for my life. Wincing against the sting of sharp thorns that snare at my skin and tear at my clothing—leaving me tattered, battered, bruised, but still I race on.
Yet, no matter how fast I run, it’s not fast enough.
I can’t seem to escape it.
Can’t escape the dark hooded being that’s coming for me.
Bearing down on me.
Claiming me.
Ending me…
I bolt upright, a horrifying scream piercing my sleep. Not realizing until Alrik bolts upright beside me and pulls me tightly to his chest that the sound came from me.
“Adelina! My darling, my sweet, are you okay? What has happened? Was someone here? Speak to me, please!” His hands cup my cheeks, making me face him as he stares into my wide, frightened eyes.
“I—” I blink rapidly, taking a moment to pull away, to gaze around the room, as I fight to get my bearings, to remind myself of where I am, who I am, but still haunted by the horrible visions I saw, as though the dream has continued.
Alrik leaps from our bed, reaches for the torch and shines it on every corner of the room. Finally assured that no one else has joined us, he returns to my side and says, “My sweet Adelina, relax. It was only a dream.”
He murmurs a stream of sweet words in my ear—promises, declarations of love, a steadfast assurance that it doesn’t mean anything—that I’m perfectly safe—that I will not be harmed in any way.
But I know better.
Know there is no such thing as just a dream.
My dreams are not the kind other people have.
My dreams have an uncanny way of coming true.
Prophetic my mother calls them. Warning me from a young age, when I first started having them, to never speak of them again—to do my best to block them out, lest anyone find out. It will wreck your life, she’d said. That sort of thing is deeply frowned upon.
But tonight, I’ve no choice but to tell Alrik, to warn him of the terrible thing yet to come. I’ve had this dream before, many times since I was a girl. Though this is the first time I’ve come to realize what it means.
That the time has now come.
From the warm, safe shelter of his arms, I allow my eyes to sadly roam his face, my voice low, nearly a whisper, as I say, “We will never be married.” I look at him, making sure he understands that my softened tone should not belie the intensity of my words. “I won’t make it to the ceremony.”
Alrik balks, shakes his head, searches for a way to comfort me. “That’s preposterous!” he says. “It was merely a nightmare, nothing more. It means nothing, absolutely nothing—or at least nothing more than a perfectly normal display of pre-marriage jitters. Our lives are about to change in a very big way—we are about to embark on the life of our dreams. And while I know you’re excited, I suspect you’re also a tiny bit frightened as well, and this is how that sort of fear often chooses to manifest itself. But my darling, my sweet Adelina, please know that you have nothing to worry about. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Not now, not ever. Do you hear? You will always be safe with me.”
I nod. Swallow hard. Wanting more than anything to believe him, for his words to be true.
But deep down inside I know different.
He’s wrong.
Dead wrong.
He didn’t see what I saw.
Doesn’t know what I know.
Didn’t feel the cold hand of death as it grabbed hold of my flesh and refused to let go.
“Kiss me,” I say, seeing the way his face softens, falsely believing it’s over.
“Kiss me and make me forget. Make it go away,” I urge, knowing this is it, my one and only chance to experience our love in its absolute, truest, deepest form. If I can’t convince him now, well, then it’s a love I’ll never know.
“Kiss me as though we have already taken our vows. Kiss me as though I am already your bride.”
I loosen the ties of my gown, allowing it to fall away from my body as my gaze holds on his. Aware of his quick intake of breath, his tightening jaw, his widening eyes. Gazing upon me in wonder. Gazing upon me as though he’s never seen anything like it before.
But I know differently. Having heard most of the stories, I’m well aware that I’m hardly his first. Though not quite a rake like his brother, he’s known to have enjoyed his share of willing partners.
But the thought doesn’t bother me. If anything, I find it reassuring. Out of all the girls that he’s been with, out of all the girls he could still be with, he chooses to be with me, and only me, for as long as our hearts shall continue to beat.