Chapter Nine

THE TASTE OF the honey wine at dinner made Shade want to drown herself in the glass as it swirled around. The food seemed intolerable, and sat untouched on her plate. Rubbing a finger on the edge of the glass she had refilled a few too many times, she watched the golden fluid ripple slightly. She was no stranger to intoxication; the wild parties after graduation had been a bit too much fun. Luckily, Dylan had never partook in any of the drinking, preferring to escort Shade home each time without a complaint. Shade had always been the responsible one before that, always taking care of her siblings and her responsibilities, never having too much to drink at other parties. Knowing Dylan would be there to take her home when she needed him to allowed her to let loose more than she probably should have at the end of the year school parties.

Shade chuckled to herself, remembering how she had taught Dylan how to drive the family’s minivan. He had not had a clue how to drive the massive metal machine, but had been determined to learn since Shade had insisted he should learn to drive if he was to spend any kind of time in the ‘normal’ human world.

Dylan had mastered driving fairly quickly. He even liked to drive her family around for errands, shopping, daycare, or whatever. Her mom had liked this quite a bit. Shade had loved having a ‘chauffeur’ too. It made it easy to relax and numb her mind to blow off the anxiety she had pent up inside.

“Shade, are you alright?” Sary’s voice broke her thoughts. “Maybe we need to give the honey wine a break.” Sary replaced her glass with a cup of water, shoving a plate of food closer to Shade, who was leaning on the table to keep from the swaying. The alcohol was definitely more potent in Faerie. Shade closed her eyes, feeling the room spinning, but at least she was feeling a lot less upset.

“Try to eat something Shade, for crying out loud. What is going on? I know I don’t know a lot about what is going on with you because I’ve been with Stephen most of the time, and I’m sorry about that, but you need to get a grip!” Sary’s frustrated, tensed-up, voice made Shade sit back up and stare at her friend. Shade’s eyelids hung heavy as she gripped the table even tighter to steady herself.

“I’m not hungry, Sary. I can’t really say what’s going on because if I knew what the hell was going on, maybe I would be okay. But I’m not, so there!” Shade sighed at her own childish rant and stood up. Her balance swayed, but she caught herself before falling.

Sary’s lips were pressed in a thin line as she watched her cross the room. Shade barely reached her room before needing to stop for a breather. She held the stone wall for support as her senses attempted to equalize. Hot tears were pouring out, streaming down her cheeks as she thought about Dylan leaving. She had told Soap to leave after she realized that Dylan wasn’t coming back. She had bawled her eyes out until she couldn’t anymore. Shade had barely made it to dinner, and only under Sary’s insistence did she drag herself to the dining hall.

There she had sulked in her chair for a while before drowning her sorrows in the wine. Her stomach was twisting in a knot now. She hadn’t even drunken much, but the lack of food was probably a very bad thing to mix in. Shade fumbled with her doorknob and entered her room. She thought of Ursad’s concerned eyes from his table at dinner. He looked like he was going to head over to her when she had shook her head towards him, warning him not to. He remained in his seat, but not without looking distracted and quite upset. Soap had kept his distance too, aware of her mood.

Shade flopped onto the bed and stared out the massive windows. The light of day was fading again into brilliant purples and reds, giving the clouds an almost ripped appearance across the sky. She buried her head in the pillows as she pulled the covers around herself. She felt like sinking into the bed and never arising.

Shade felt overwhelmed with the feelings flowing through her. She had messed it up for her and Dylan. She liked Soap, but it wasn’t the same for sure. How could she fix this? How could she atone for the pain she had obviously caused Dylan? Rubbing her face, she groaned. She had no idea how to fix anything. She had so much to do, and all she had accomplished was lose someone she cared for. She couldn’t even tell him now how she felt about him. She watched the sun bleed away into the dusk and prayed that Dylan would come back eventually. She guessed he would probably have to, especially with the blood bind still in place.

The shock of her sudden intense feelings for Dylan disarmed her. Hot, plump, tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over her reddened cheeks. She rubbed her face on the soft pillows, hugging them tighter as the sobs overwhelmed her. Her body shuddered with the effort as she let the crying run its course. The honey wine’s sleepy effects were now working on her, but she fought it, sitting up in the bed and staring out the windows again. She wanted to go home badly. This very instant, in fact.

Shaking the thought out of her head, she decided against asking Camulus for a quick teleport ride back home. She was not sober at all, and did not want her mother or siblings to see her intoxicated. James and Alice; the two youngest, were impressionable, and Benton; who was one year younger than her, was not so easily fooled. He had questioned her to death when she had returned from the last trip through Faerie relentlessly until she made a point to avoid him completely. Dylan’s presence had only heightened his endless suspicion.

Shade wondered if her brother knew anything about Faerie and her abilities. She didn’t really like to confide in him. They were not close in any sense of the word. Sometimes she wondered if that was her fault. She had always busied herself with school and hanging out with her friend Brisa so much, she hardly noticed what Benton was up to. Even more so now that Dylan had joined the picture.

Benton had been particularly suspicious of Dylan from the get go. Benton had eyed Dylan from head to toe without discretion when she had introduced him to her family. Benton’s frown had made it obvious that he did not like competition as man of the house, and disapproved of the arrangement immensely. He then proceeded to avoid Dylan like the plague, and mostly retreated to his room, blasting the music as loud as he could get away with.

Now Shade wished she were back at home with Benton’s familiar gloominess to look forward to. She sighed, stretching her arms and legs as she lay back on the bed. She needed to talk to someone who wasn’t Fey. Like Brisa, who would know something about guys. Maybe Benton might have some male insight on what she should do about Dylan and Soap. She wondered if Benton would like Soap any better. Squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her face, she really didn’t think so. Benton was very protective of the family, and any outside male threat to them was anything but welcomed.

Shade shifted on the bed again, feeling the restlessness crawling under her skin. She nodded to herself, finally making up her mind. I’ll go home once I sober up. Only then could she sort things out and think straight. But first, she still had to find Draden and get him to talk more about her father. She suspected Draden knew far more than he let on, and now was a good of time as any to start following her intuition.

She quickly stood up but immediately sank back down onto the fluffy bed as she groaned. The room was still tilting from her over eagerness with the alcohol. She flung herself back onto the pillows. She would have to wait out the ill effects of the sweet Faery drink before attempting to walk out of the Palace. Shade curled up on the silken cloud of pillows and sheets, letting herself drift off into sleep.

Chapter Ten

THE MORNING HAD Shade wide-awake with the sunrise. She lingered in the main entryway staircase of the Palace where everyone had to eventually pass through to get to the dining hall. She was sitting on the bottom step of the grand staircase where she was impatiently tapping her foot over and over. She watched as guards, servants, and decorated warriors treaded past her, never giving her a second’s glance. None of them were Draden or his brother Andraste, and the twin’s failure to appear made Shade want to pull her hair out. How could they have been so close, and she had failed to ask them the most important question she had. After about an hour, she felt like throwing in the towel and retreated to the dining hall to get breakfast.

Her stomach was much better this morning. The world no longer swayed, tilted, or made her stomach lurch. She was relieved to avoid a hangover, especially since she had decided to travel back home today. Spotting Sary, she slumped into the empty chair next to her. Stephen occupied the chair on the other side of Sary. He leaned forward, giving her a questioning eyebrow lift.

“What?” Shade’s dark mood had yet to go away.

Stephen grinned and shrugged. “Nothing, Shade. How are we this fine and beautiful day? Going somewhere?” He eyed her pack as she pulled it off and tucked it under the table.

“Yes, I’m going home after we eat. Has anyone seen Draden? I have to ask him something.” She loaded her plate up with fruits, pancakes, and syrup. She was famished after missing almost a whole day of nourishment due to her overwhelming, self-imposed depression.

“Home? But we aren’t scheduled to return until tomorrow,” Sary responded. “Today, Stephen and Than will finish organizing the troops to take with us to Guildrin that Prince Lotinar has so generously provided for Queen Zinara’s disposal. What’s going on?” Sary said as her eyes narrowed in on Shade, waiting for an answer. “Does this have anything to do with Dylan’s departure?”

Shade dropped her fork suddenly, its clang ringing against the floor as she pressed her lips together tightly. She glared back at Sary, for once not appreciating her friend’s inquisition.

“No, I just need to go home. I can’t stand it here in Faerie anymore. I really don’t think this is the place for me. I’m not a Queen. I’m not anything like that. I just want to ask Draden if my father had any other family I can contact and be done with it.” She grabbed a fork from the empty setting beside hers and shoved a piece of pancake into her mouth.

Sary and Stephen glanced at each other before they resumed eating their breakfast. Shade had grown weary of anyone’s company, and itched to get out of the Palace as soon as possible. If she couldn’t find Draden then she would just go home without speaking to him. She was feeling suffocated in Faerie.

Shade glanced around to find Ursad heading her way. He tapped her shoulder as he passed, motioning her to follow. Shade scooped her pack up and scurried behind him, glad to have an excuse to leave the table. She followed quietly behind him until they had reached the other side of the great staircase. He waved her towards a room down another hall and clicked the door behind them after entering. Slowly he turned and smiled at her, his eyes gleaming.

“I had to get you in private to give you this. Draden told me to give it to you and only you alone.” Ursad pulled out a letter from his pocket. It was sealed with a wax imprint and rolled up just like something from ancient times. Shade plucked it from his hand and stared at it. She ran her finger under the edge of paper, breaking the seal, and unrolled the thin tissue-like paper.

Shade,

I feel our words were too brief yesterday, and I still have much more to tell you about your father. The battles are growing more intense as we speak, so I’ve had to leave to tend to such matters. I do however wish to let you know that your grandmother, your father’s mother, and the old ruler of the Southern Realm are indeed still alive. She was imprisoned and exiled by Aveta when the Queen found out just how difficult it would be to kill her. I have sent Andraste to find the exact location of exile for you. When he finds it, he has instructions to come get you at your human dwelling with Camulus and some of your friends, for protection, and to take you to there. Her name is Lana. I hope you have a good journey.

-Draden

Shade reread the note several times before looking up at Ursad, who patiently waited to see if she would let on what it said. She gulped and folded the note, stuffing it into her jeans pocket. She was feeling elated. She was going to see her grandmother! Excitement burst in her chest and made her want to twirl and dance around the room. She smiled at Ursad and laughed out loud.

“Draden is helping me find my grandmother, Ursad! I can’t believe it! I’m actually going to meet a Fey relative! I have so much to ask her, I don’t even know what to say to her. What should I say to her? What if she doesn’t like me? What if..” Ursad interrupted her sudden outburst.

“Shade, hold on. Don’t start having a panic attack. I’m sure she will be thrilled to meet you too. I’m really happy for you.” He hugged her and smiled back.

Shade felt like she was going to jump out of her skin. She had to head back home now to wait for Andraste and Camulus to return with her grandmother’s location. She suddenly had the urge to leave immediately.

“I have to go, Ursad. I have to go home first, and then wait for them. Can Camulus take me back right now? Where is he?”

Ursad’s grin wavered. He was so happy for her at the discovery of her relative, but his face fell and betrayed the sadness he felt at her words.

“Leave already? But you just got here, Shade. I really wanted to spend some more time with you before you had to go. Can’t you stay a bit longer? I doubt Andraste has found her yet.” He studied her face as it changed from excited to slightly annoyed.

“Ursad, I have to go. I can’t stay here and wait. I’m sorry if you wanted to hang out a bit longer, but I just can’t. I feel like the land of Faerie is pressing down on me and I can’t breathe. You do understand that, right?” She watched him slowly nod, his face remaining glum. She sighed and grabbed the doorknob to open the door, waiting for the answer to her question.

“Of course I do, Shade.”

“Do you know where Camulus might be?” Ursad nodded and waved her towards the door. They exited and walked silently down the hall. She followed him through the Palace until they reached a large conference room with the doors standing wide open. Inside, several guards and warriors stood around a large wooden table occupied by dozens of maps. Camulus, who was staring down at one map, looked up at them as they entered the room. Ursad motioned to him quickly and Camulus nodded, straightened, and walked towards them.