Defenseless Page 18

“I already regret this.”

“I think we should consummate the marriage.”

“I think you try it and you’ll have a new nickname, and it won’t be about vampires or glitter.”

He laughs and pulls me close. “You’re going to admit how much you love me really soon. I can feel it.”

“You feel something all right.”

“Charleston, you and I will be married one day. Mark my words.”

He’s so insane it’s beyond normal. I never plan to marry because my life is too unpredictable. There’s no way I want to give up my career, and that’s what happens to women in my field. They meet some guy, fall in love, get married, and then they leave the life. Sure, they stay in the agency and work a desk job. Become a handler, like Mandi did, and for what? Some asshole who will probably cheat on her. No, thanks.

“Marcus, the world could never handle us together.” I play on his name since he keeps having fun with mine. Not that he knows what my real name is.

 

 

Luckily, the motel has a room in the location we want. It has a view of the street, and it gives us an escape out the window in case we need one. “What was the last contact you had with your guys?” I ask as we set up our gear.

Mark brought a bunch of stuff. It’s all small and can be compacted, but it’s still a lot. I’m not used to having so much tech stuff on assignment. Usually, I’d have Mandi run the intel I needed, and then she’d relay what she found so I could stay off the grid as much as possible. This will be my first time working without her.

“This location is where they should’ve ended up. That’s why I’m here. Maybe they went silent for a reason. They could’ve realized they were being tracked or targeted and decided to cut off communication. I’ve done it before.”

“What’s the company protocol?”

He looks at me with a grin. “None of us dictate protocol to our field guys. They’re all highly trained and able to make decisions on their own. I’m not here to babysit. I’m here to support them with the best equipment and training possible.”

I take a seat on the edge of the bed. “Okay, so basically they have carte blanche?”

“No, they have permission to do what’s necessary to carry out the mission. One thing both Jackson and I hated about the Navy was worrying about politics. These guys know what to do. They’re keen, loyal, and can decide right from wrong. Jackson set parameters and these guys respect that. They wouldn’t break that code because they respect him.”

I raise my hands in surrender. “I’m not accusing.”

Mark sits next to me with a reassuring smile. “I know. I just get a little defensive about my men.”

“Understandable. I feel the same about my work.”

He nods. “Yeah, tell me about the mission where you found Aaron.” His request somehow seems like a demand.

I’m not accustomed to speaking freely. While I’ve debriefed the agency on everything, Mark doesn’t hold the clearance for all of this—at least I don’t think he does. However, there’s a part of me that doesn’t care about that. The agency took that from me when they gave the case to Vanessa. They took away years of my life. So I decide to give a tiny bit and go over the info I’m sure Aaron has already disclosed to him.

“I was on assignment to gather information about a terrorist who is dealing arms. I was very deep and in that camp for a long time gaining their trust. I’m very persuasive.”

He laughs. “I’m sure of that. I don’t know many men who would look at your dark hair and blue eyes and tell you no.”

I smirk. “I don’t know any either.”

“Now who’s cocky?”

“Anyway,” I continue with my story. “I’m sure this part won’t make you happy, but I was there for a while before I could relay that Aaron was alive.” I wait for his disapproval.

“I knew this. I don’t like it because he’s my friend and his wife suffered greatly because we thought he was dead, but I get it. The mission comes first. Sometimes in life, especially our line of work, others suffer for the choices we make.” Mark grabs a protein bar, opens it, and bites into it as if he couldn’t care less.

It’s so confusing to me. I would slit someone’s throat if they kept my brother from me for a year. Yeah, I offered Aaron what little protection I could, but I couldn’t destroy all the work I’d done. He suffered because I had to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I could hear the screams from his beatings, and it was horrible. I knew he had a wife and child, yet I pretended. Those were the parts of my job that sometimes kept me awake at night.

“It’s not something I took lightly.”

Mark’s green eyes deepen as he shifts forward. “Did you and Aaron get a chance to really talk?”

“Here and there. We were monitored, so I had to be careful. He told me about Natalie and their baby. He wondered if she was okay, what the baby looked like, if anyone knew he was alive. I couldn’t give him too much information because I wasn’t willing to put the assignment at risk. It was the first time I ever truly hated my job,” I admit frankly. Mark sits in rapt attention as I offer a little of my truth to him. “Aaron told me, though, at the end of all of this, he wanted those to suffer for what they were doing. He knew he would get us both killed if he did anything. So he shut his mouth, took it like a man, and hoped I would be able to keep my promise.”

Sometime during my speech, Mark covers my hand with his. I could pull back from him, but his touch comforts me. “What information did you give him?”

“I told him . . .” I feel a pang of guilt and stop. It was the first time I ever wished to blow my cover. Aaron was broken. He confessed his life to me not knowing I was a CIA operative. I was so deep into being Fahima that I forgot who I really was. Aaron snapped me out of that.

“Charlie?”

“I told him lies, Mark. I didn’t tell him who I was until about two months before I contacted my handler. Then I lied and told him I had my team working on extracting him. I lied because I’m a liar. I’m a liar who cared more about myself than him or his family.”

Mark pulls me close. I don’t know how the bastard knew it was something I needed, but he did. I sink into his embrace. I blame the drugs even though they’re no longer in my system.

“You got him home.”

I huff. “What did he go home to? We still talk, you know?”

“He told me.” Mark keeps me against his side.

“I know his wife married his best friend. They now have a kid. It’s kinda wrong, no?”

Mark releases me. His eyes study mine before he speaks. “Natalie made her choices based on the information she had. If he told you anything, he wasn’t exactly a model husband. Liam is a good guy, and he loves her. He stepped in and raised Aarabelle when Aaron couldn’t. And when Natalie’s world fell apart, he never left her side. I don’t agree with the choices Aaron made, but it’s not my place to judge him.”

I nod and mull over what he said. I know all about Aaron’s piss-poor decisions. As a woman—and his only friend at that time—I let him know how I felt about it, too. “I think he more than paid for his sins.”

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