I took my hands back from Kane, forced myself to stop feeding from him, so he could look up at me and still hear and understand what I was about to say to him. I could have fed him into unconsciousness and he’d have woken not even remembering why he was so tired.

“If I find out you hurt one of the guards, because you made them afraid to hurt you first, I will make certain that you step into the practice ring with them again, and they get to kick your ass. Narcissus is going to want you and Asher dead for this amazing insult to him. He is the Oba of your entire clan, one of the most powerful groups in this territory, and you just superseded him as Asher’s beast to call. He will not forgive, hell, in hyena society, he can’t forgive and forget this, because it would make him appear so fucking weak that his own people will turn on him. You and Asher have left Narcissus with no choice but to punish you. If Asher had told him first, discussed it with him, but he didn’t, did he? Just like he didn’t mention it to Jean-Claude first.”

Kane managed to say, “No.”

“No, what, Kane? No, he didn’t discuss it with Jean-Claude first? No, you didn’t talk to your Oba first? No, no, no isn’t going to save you from whatever Narcissus is going to do to you.”

“Jean-Claude . . . will save . . . Asher.” He couldn’t quite make his eyes focus, as if he were struggling to stay conscious; maybe I’d taken a little too much energy from him?

“No, Kane, not this time. I won’t let Jean-Claude endanger us all because Asher lets his fucking heart overrule his head again and again.” My towel was loose; I didn’t try to keep myself covered but took the towel off and sat across his waist as naked as he was. The only thing that made it not a preamble to sex was that I was a few inches too high.

I put my glowing eyes just above his, and he still couldn’t move enough to do anything to stop me. “I haven’t made anyone my hyena to call yet, Kane, did you remember that? One of the things I learned from the Mother of All Darkness was how to break the bonds between vampires and their servants. I could just take you from Asher, bind you to me, and thanks to the ardeur I would be your exception, Kane. You’d fuck me, because you’d crave me like a drug.”

“No . . . lies.”

“Oh, I’m not lying. Why tell a lie when the truth is so much more terrible?”

“Bitch.”

“Oh, Kane, you can do better than that.”

“He’ll never . . . top you . . . again if you hurt me.”

“Narcissus is going to kill Asher if he can, so he won’t be topping, or fucking, anyone.”

“He loves Asher.”

“You know, I think he does, but Asher never loves the people who love him the most; he always chases the ones who don’t want him, haven’t you figured that out yet?”

“He loves me enough to . . . do this.”

I nodded. “Yes, he does, because in you he’s finally found someone more problematic, more jealous, more of a shit, than he is—it’s only taken him six, seven hundred years to find someone who exemplifies his own worst traits. He’ll keep you close, Kane, I don’t know why, but he sees something in you he wants.”

Kane swallowed, and his eyes were able to look at mine again. I got up still nude and left him lying on the floor with my towel curled up beside him. “You and Asher deserve each other, Kane, you really do.”

“Thank you,” he said.

“It wasn’t a compliment,” I said. I got my weapons out of the locker and since I’d totally forgotten fresh clothes I carried all of them, mostly in one arm, because the other hand was for my Browning BDM naked in my hand. I left Kane lying on the floor to recover, or pass out. I didn’t shoot him, not even to wound. And people say I have no sense of humor.

45

I LEFT THE showers nearly vibrating with energy, but the combination of being buck naked and juggling all my holsters, guns, knives, and ammo pouches because they had nothing to attach to was just awkward, and then I started seeing the early-morning shift of the guards coming and going. Have you ever tried nodding good morning to people while naked and holding a small arsenal of weapons? It was a first for me, too, and I didn’t care for it. Though they were almost all lycanthropes, which means technically they don’t give a damn about nudity, they kept doing the little eye flicks. It may have been the guns and stuff, but I was self-conscious enough to want to start snarling, What are you looking at?

I didn’t, but I know I was scowling with every morning greeting after a while. I felt squirmingly awkward, like one of those nightmares where you have to give a major speech and you’ve forgotten your clothes. Apparently embarrassment can tone down vampire powers; who knew?

I was relieved to finally get to the little locker area near medical. One, it was in a small cave-y alcove so I had a moment of privacy. Two, I could finally empty my hands into the locker, lock it, and keep the key, though I didn’t have any pockets to put it in. I debated long and hard on whether to keep the smaller Sig Sauer with me, but again I had no way to carry it. I was surrounded by guards, our bodyguards; they were armed and paid to keep us all safe, so why did it bug me so much to shut the locker with all my guns inside it? Now I really did feel naked.

I finally gave in, reopened the locker, got out the Sig still in its holster, and just carried it all in my left hand. With my left hand, since I was right-handed, because if I really had to use it, I’d hold the holster with my left and draw the gun with my right. My left hand would do what the belt normally did: hold the holster tight so the Sig could come out with one hard, smooth pull. Maybe I was being paranoid keeping a gun with me, but hey, I left both of the Sig’s spare magazines in the locker. See, not paranoid, just cautious, and if you think otherwise you haven’t had enough people shoot at you.

Benito was standing just around the corner from the locker area. He wasn’t exactly at the head of the medical area, but just inside it, so he wasn’t easily visible but could just step out and surprise them like he had tried to do with me.

“You saw me?”

“Felt you,” I said, and that was the closest I could come to explaining how I had known someone was in the shadows there. Then Bram stepped out of the shadows, and I knew it hadn’t been Benito the wererat that I’d sensed; it had been the wereleopard. I was better at sensing all the wereanimals that were my flavor to call. Bram was Micah’s main bodyguard. He was a few inches taller than Benito, but they were both built lean and I knew Bram was wicked fast. Benito didn’t practice with us, because he wasn’t one of our guards; he was all for Rafael. Bram’s hair was cut very short on the sides, but with a little more left on top to style as he let go of the military haircut he’d come to us with; he was darker than Benito, and it wasn’t just tan. He still looked unfinished to me without Ares standing at his side; they’d partnered each other as guards and as friends. Ares had been the blond physical counterpoint to Bram’s oh-so-brunette. Ares was dead, and Bram was like a shadow with no light to balance him, or maybe that was just my guilt talking, since I’d been the one who had to kill him. A vampire had bespelled Ares and suddenly all that military skill and werehyena strength was turned against us. It was one thing to not be able to save someone, but to have to pull the trigger on them, that was something that stayed with you.