Instinctively, she tugged back, but the restraints only provided a hair of slack. She buried her face in the sheets and tried to steady her breathing. She was at his mercy. Blind and bound for whatever he chose to do to her.

“Get on your knees.” He gripped her waist and helped her tuck her knees beneath her. Her face and breasts remained against the sheets, the restraints not allowing her to rise any higher. A gentle hand caressed her ass, smoothing over the area he had hit. “Do you know how fucking sexy you look with my handprint marking you?”

She shook her head, but didn’t dare speak.

His finger traced the cleft of her ass, brushing across her most private opening. She automatically tensed. “I have to tell you, Brynn. Spanking such a beautiful ass could get addictive. I’m not sure if I got enough out of the first time.”

Before she could process what he was saying, the flat of his palm landed a sharp blow on her opposite cheek. She bit her lip and moaned, the pain/pleasure mix rocketing through her. “Can you take it, sugar? Handle what I’m planning to dish out?”

She braced herself as his hand came down again and again, covering her ass and the backs of her thighs with stinging heat. He never slapped the same spot twice, but instead methodically covered every inch of virgin skin with his attention. Her back arched and she writhed, the heady buzz of pain and endorphins overloading her system and fogging her brain. To her mortification, hot moisture leaked down her thighs as if her body were begging for more.

When the spanking ceased, gentle hands moved over her skin, soothing her. His voice was choppy, his breathing quick. “Have I scared you enough yet, Brynn? Are you ready to run?”

She moaned into the sheets, half out of her mind with need. “For the love of God, please touch me.”

His hands stilled as if he was shocked by her words. “What?”

She parted her knees, opening herself to him, not caring at the moment what kind of girl that made her. “Please.”

Tentatively, he moved his hand between her legs and dragged his fingers down her folds. Her entire body trembled, and a deep groan rumbled from his chest. “Jesus. You’re soaked.”

Her hands flexed and fisted in the bindings as he pulled away. If he didn’t do something soon, she was going to lose it. Her words came out in a barely coherent jumble. “I need… I… You’re killing me.”

“Son of a bitch.”

The sound of clothes rustling filled her ears. Lord, she wished she could see him and touch his bare skin, but she knew she wouldn’t be granted that privilege tonight. He was trying to punish her, to scare her away. Only it wasn’t working. She wanted him more.

The crackling of what she assumed was a condom wrapper replaced the other sounds, and the bed dipped around her. Strong hands grasped her hips and lifted, raising her backside fully and spreading her thighs to bare everything to him.

“Is this what you want, Brynn?” The blunt head of his cock pressed against her opening.

She tried to back into him, to force him into her, but the arm bindings bit into her wrists, holding her in place. “Yes.”

“Tell me,” he growled. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

Her breath quickened and the ache inside her hit the point of pain. “Fuck me, Reid. Please, fuck me.”

With one swift thrust he buried himself inside her, causing her to arch and gasp. Her tissues stretched taut, trying to accommodate his size. She’d only been with one other guy, and he hadn’t been nearly this big. Being filled so completely was overwhelming.

Reid hummed with pleasure, but held himself still inside her. “Fuck, baby, you’re tight. Am I hurting you?”

The small break in his hardened demeanor made her melt beneath him. She shook her head, all of her senses on fire. “Don’t stop.”

He grunted and the bed dipped again as he leaned down and draped his hard chest against her back. One hand slid down her stomach to her pelvis and parted her curls. With a roughened finger, he stroked her clit, and began to pump into her from behind. Lightning rushed through her veins as she tiptoed on the edge of release. In and out. The sweet glide of him against her delicate tissues driving her mad. She gritted her teeth, trying to hold herself back from falling into the abyss. She would wait for his permission. Would prove that she could do it.

Sweat slicked their bodies as Reid picked up the pace and relentlessly fucked her, stroking her hot button all the while. “You ready, baby?”

Her body quivered beneath him, no longer in her conscious control. “God, yes.”

“Come for me, Brynn.” His fingers pinched her clit and rolled it between his fingers, eliciting a scream from deep in her throat. Her nerve endings exploded, electric bliss crashing over her in all-encompassing waves.

She continued to cry out with each ripple of climax, her voice turning hoarse way before she was able to quiet herself. Reid increased his tempo, diving into her with frantic thrusts. Her body rippled around him, milking him with her orgasm, and a low moan sliced through the air as he found his own release.

When they both had gone silent and their breathing had slowed, he pressed his lips to the spot between her shoulder blades and eased out. Her legs collapsed beneath her, and she sank fully into the bed, too exhausted to even lift her head. She had no idea what Reid was doing, but at the moment she didn’t care. Her eyelids fluttered closed behind the blindfold.

“Hey, wake up, sugar,” Reid said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Brynn blinked, the lamplight of the room burning her eyes. “Did I fall asleep?”

He brushed the dampened hair off her forehead, his expression guarded. “Just for a few minutes. I tried to let you rest for a little while, but we should probably get out of here. Jace’s sister will be home in a few hours.”

She lifted herself on her elbows and saw that she was no longer bound and that Reid had thrown a blanket over her. “Can you get my clothes?”

He stood and grabbed her things from the floor. “Here, do you need me to help you?”

She smiled. “I think I can handle it.”

She pushed the blanket off her and rose to her feet, shivering from the sudden chill. Reid shoved his hands in his pockets, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world but here. She slipped her panties on and the material brushed against her the tender skin on her bottom. “Ouch.”

Reid cringed and dragged a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Hell, Brynn, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did this. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s fine. I asked for it. I wanted you to.”

He sat his chin on top of her head and rubbed her bare back. “I promise I won’t ever let it happen again. I’m done with this.”

She put her hands on his chest and stepped back. “Bullshit.”

His eyebrows scrunched. “What?”

She grabbed her bra off the floor and put it on, then hauled her dress over her head, anger tainting the mellow afterglow she’d been enjoying. “You’re saying you didn’t enjoy yourself?”

He blew out a breath and leaned against the windowsill. “I hit you, Brynn. Used you. Talked to you like I owned you. You don’t deserve that.”

She zipped up the back of her dress and narrowed her eyes. “You loved it.”

His frown lines dipped deeper, and he turned his back to her, looking out the window toward the swimming pool outside. “I don’t want to be like this. I want a normal relationship with you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest as she toed on her shoes. “And I don’t want to be with someone who’s lying to me. If you want to date me, you either come into it as you are—quirks and all—or go find someone else to play pretend with.”

He raised his head, staring at her in the reflection in the window. “What are you saying?”

“If you want to explore this, I’m game. It’s not like we’re signing up to get married. We have a summer. I like you, you like me. And tonight was… pretty incredible. So, you decide.”

His jaw tightened. “And if I just want to go back to a normal relationship?”

She shrugged. “It won’t be with me. I don’t want to spend my time wondering if you’re satisfying this need with some other girl while playing Mr. Perfect around me.”

His shoulders slumped. “Be careful on your drive home, Brynn.”

Fury boiled low in her belly and her cheeks burned. “You’re not even going to walk me out?”

He didn’t turn to look at her. “It’s for the best.”

NINE

now

Soft classical music wrapped around Brynn as she inhaled deeply through her nose, counted to five, then blew the breath out through her mouth.

“Relax your hands, sweetie. You’ve got them clenched so hard, you’re going to make your palms bleed,” Melody said in a quiet voice.

Brynn sighed and sat up from her reclined position on the couch. “This isn’t working.”

Mel frowned and crossed her hands in her lap. “It’s relaxation therapy, not surgery. Maybe you should take a Valium.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ’cause that’s what I want to do—be drugged up when I hand myself over to a stranger.”

Mel pressed her lips together. “Good point.”

Brynn gathered her hair in her hands and held it off her neck, trying to cool her sweating skin. “I’m going to frigging faint. Right there in the middle of a sex club. Like one of those goats.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Goats?”

“You know, the ones who freeze up and faint when they’re startled.”

“That sounds hilarious,” Mel said, then waved her hand. “I mean, the goats, not you, of course.”

Brynn sank back into the couch and let her hair fall around her shoulders. How could she treat countless clients for post-traumatic stress and not even be able to talk herself down from a panic attack? She ran her hands over her face. “I’m going to lose it.”

Mel stood and crossed the few steps to Brynn, then kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in hers. “Brynn, you are the most kick-ass chick I know and are stronger than this fear. You’re going to be able to do this. If not for yourself, then for your sister.”

Brynn gave her hands a squeeze. “Thanks, Mel.”

A light tap sounded on the door, and Mel rose to unlock it. Cooper poked his head in. “There’s a car here for you.”

Brynn nodded. “Thanks, tell them I’ll be right there.”

He looked from Mel, then back to Brynn. “You gonna be okay, darling?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Mel told you.”

He shrugged. “I dragged it out of her. We’re all just worried about you. You know how the safe word thing works, right?”

“Hell, Cooper. I don’t want to discuss this with you. I’m mortified that you even know where I’m going.”

He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “Really, don’t worry about it. I’ve been to a club before. I would never judge you.”

She raised an eyebrow, but kept her questions to herself. She didn’t need to know that much about her boss. “I need to get going. They apparently start initiations promptly at eight.”

Both Mel and Cooper gave her tight hugs, and she shuffled off to her office to grab the suitcase she’d brought into work. The Ranch had insisted on a driver picking her up, saying that only members were allowed parking spaces. But she suspected it was really just another way to show her submission to the process.

She walked past Reid’s office, but the door was closed. Just as well. She’d been avoiding him since Monday, and the last thing she needed was for him to see her in this state. He’d be able to pick up on her fear from thirty yards away. Even after all these years, the man still seemed to be able to read her as if she were wearing a billboard with emoticons on it.