Liam thrusts me forward, and the sound of our lovemaking echoes in the room. Our tangled bodies and heavy breathing mixed with the smell of sex and sweat fill my mind. I want to bathe in this moment. Drench myself in the happiness and love I feel, because I know all too soon that it will end.

“Don’t,” he commands.

Confusion sweeps over me.

“Don’t go there. Stay here. Stay right here with me, Natalie.”

I crush the thoughts that were chasing me and focus on him. My thoughts only memorize his frame that’s covering me, the connection we share right now, soul to soul and body to body.

My orgasm comes out of nowhere and I fall apart in his arms. “Oh, oh my God.”

Liam stops moving and watches me burst into pure ecstasy. I wriggle and he reaches between us, putting pressure on my clit, drawing out all pleasure from my body. “I can’t,” I say, needing him to stop. It’s too much.

“You can,” his voice is strained.

He milks each ounce of bliss my body holds. It lasts forever. My limbs are limp at my sides when he begins to move again. “I’ll never grow tired of watching you come apart.” He pounds harder and I slide up from the force. “I want you to think of how I make you feel when you’re away from me.” Liam slams into me again, and I claw my nails into his shoulder. “When you move, I want you to feel me right here.” He rears back and the slapping of skin rings loudly through the air. “You belong to me. Not him. Not anyone else.”

I can’t speak as Liam sets a punishing rhythm. He growls as he pushes harder and harder. Each time he hits a little deeper, and I bite my lip to fight from crying out. This is rough, but it’s exactly what I need. We had our sweet lovemaking . . . now we’re fucking. There’s no finesse, no love. Just primal and urgent. The need to sink our bodies so deep that we don’t know where I end and he begins.

“Do you understand?” he asks and pushes so hard I can’t control the cry. I welcome the pain from his body. I’d rather feel him hurt me than all the other forms of agony I’m in.

“Hurt me! Make it stop!” I scream out.

Liam stills and looks down at me as tears build in my eyes. “I’ll never hurt you.” His voice is calm and unlabored, as if all of that minutes ago was nothing. He flips me on top and grips my hips. “I love you,” he says tenderly.

Tears fall from my eyes and splash against his chest. “I love you,” I reply.

He moves me slowly and I rock, allowing his cock to fill me. “Stay tonight,” he requests.

I don’t reply because I can’t. He knows it, but it hurts. Liam forces me to pick up the pace but still stays affectionate. “I’m gonna come, Lee,” he tells me as he begins to pump from below.

I lean down against his ear. “I love you. Fill me.”

He grunts and releases. Liam’s arms wrap around my body, holding me close. I close my eyes and wish I could stay here.

But I can’t.

No matter how much I don’t want to . . . I have to go home.

Ugh. My fucking head is throbbing. I feel like shit. I roll over and fight the spinning.

That was one hell of a dream. I scratch my head and look at the bed in disarray. I must have really gotten into that one. I haven’t had a wet dream since I was twelve.

I get up and head to the bathroom, reliving each moment. She felt so real. I could touch her, taste her, and feel her body beneath me, but there’s no way it was her. Natalie’s with her fucking husband.

Once I’d gotten myself out of the rope the bastard tied me in, I passed out in bed. I let the alcohol-induced coma take me over. Quinn was right, I need to pull myself together and man the fuck up. So she’s gone . . . I have a deployment coming and a team of men who need me to be present. Not some lovesick puppy licking my wounds.

I rub my neck and notice the nail marks on my shoulder. What the fuck?

I turn in the mirror and see them extending down my back. No way. It couldn’t have been real. But I can smell her. The smell of lavender filters through the air. I remember the taste of her lips and the way she kept telling me it wasn’t a dream.

Well, then where the fuck is she?

The room is cleaned more than I could’ve done last night. I rush out to the living room to find it picked up as well. Son of a bitch. She really was here. The night comes flooding back, and I slap myself for thinking it was a dream. She kissed me before she left and told me she loved me. I was already half dead between the intense sex and extreme hangover I was nursing. Within seconds, I was passed out again thinking I dreamt it all.

I grab my phone and text her.

Me: When can I see you again?

Natalie: Soon. I promise.

I hope it’s sooner than later. I miss her already, but I can’t say that. She’s got a whole host of bullshit on her plate.

Me: We should talk about what happened.

Natalie: I’ll call you tonight.

Me: Okay, sweetheart. I’m glad you came over last night.

And I am. Even though I wasn’t sure if it actually happened, it means a lot to me. She was thinking of me enough to sneak out and come over. Of course, I feel like a monumental shitbag for sleeping with her when her husband is home, but he lost her. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Natalie: Me too. No more drinking like that. I’m on my way to work. I need to get a break from my mind.

I decide not to respond. I need to figure out what the hell to do. I’m on leave, so I don’t have to be anywhere. I grab my keys knowing exactly what I need to do today. Aaron and I need to talk, and since he’s home alone—looks like it’s my perfect opportunity.

Of course my luck runs out when the lights flash behind me. Motherfucker.

The cop strolls over to the driver’s side door with his aviators and I’m-bad-ass walk. I would like to dropkick this guy and he hasn’t even spoken. I must remain calm since the last thing I want is a ticket.

“Good morning, do you know why I pulled you over?” Officer Brock asks.

Yeah, because you saw a bright red hot rod.

“Sorry, Officer. I must’ve been speeding?” I say more as a question. I seriously have no fucking clue what I did.

“You were speeding. This is a thirty-five. I need your license, registration, and insurance.”

I pop open the glove box and grab the papers, handing them over along with my military ID. The officer looks them over and nods. “You’re active?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t think you meant to hand me this,” he says and hands me over an envelope with my name on it. I look at it and realize it’s the letter from Aaron. “I’ll let you go with a warning. Just slow it down. Thank you for your service.” He hands the rest back and walks back to his cruiser.

I sit here stunned and I feel like I got hit by a bus. Well, fuck. Do I read it or shred it? I pull into the parking lot right across the street from his house and stare at it. What he had to say is irrelevant now, but curiosity gets the best of me.

Liam,

Hey, man. I’m sitting here before heading out on this deployment and I have this weird feeling. I can’t explain it, but I don’t think I’ll make it back. I know we’re not supposed to think like that, but, well . . . it is what it is. I have a few things I want to ask of you and you’re the only person I trust.