My throat goes dry as I fight the tears threatening to fall. “I don’t want to confuse her. I know she’s your daughter, but I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m your husband too,” he reminds me.

“You and I may be married right now, but there’s so much we have to talk about, Aaron. This isn’t an easy place for either of us. You haven’t been a husband for a long time.” I give Aaron my own reminder. We’re both victims here. “I’m going to pick her up from the sitter. I need time. There are a lot of things we need to decide on to press forward.”

“Where does your boyfriend fit into all of this?” he sneers. He’s lucky I don’t punch him.

I stand, giving myself the height advantage. He doesn’t get to degrade me for something he did. I won’t let him taint the love I share with Liam. If he wants to be an asshole, I’ll show him how much I’ve grown.

“I’ll let you slide on this. I didn’t date Liam behind your back. I didn’t betray you. I thought you were dead.” Aaron looks at me, and I know this is killing him. I didn’t fall in love with someone random. I fell in love with his best friend. The immense pain he must feel is something I can’t understand. Brittany was bad, but I didn’t have to lose two people I care about.

I know this isn’t easy for him. I hate that now I’m the one holding the knife to his chest.

“But I’m not gone.”

“No, you’re not, and I’m so happy you’re alive. I’m glad Aarabelle will have her father. But Liam is the reason I smiled again and found a way to muddle through the days. Liam is the reason when I found out about your affair I didn’t go off the deep end. So that was the one dig you get. I’m not the liar or the cheater—” I let that hang in the air between us.

Aaron stands then grips my shoulders. “I came back to you. I lived to see your face again. Not hers—yours. Every moment, I thought of you, dreamt of you, needed to touch you again.” His hands graze my arms as he speaks. “I need you, Natalie. I need you, and I’m not letting you go without a fight. I lived for you and our daughter. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone take that from me again.”

I stare into his amber eyes and choke back the sob that threatens to escape. “It’s not your choice anymore.”

“No one is going to take my family from me. I’m going to win you back. And I’ll be sure to let Liam know that as well.” Aaron’s hands fall, and he heads toward the water.

I stand in shock at the promise he made. My heart races while the nausea bubbles up. I don’t have any idea how I’m going to handle this. All I know is right now I want to be wrapped in Liam’s arms in Corolla, away from all of this.

“Thanks, Paige,” I say as I lift Aarabelle into my arms.

“No problem. I hope you have fun in Corolla,” she smiles and I nod. I can’t say the words because they will break the carefully constructed front I’ve managed to build.

I buckle Aarabelle in her seat while she smiles at me. “Dadadada,” she babbles and then I fall apart.

My muscles go limp while I lie with my head in her lap and sob. I think about how she called Liam “dada” and how much it made a part of me happy. Now, the sound of her saying it makes me break. I drown in the sea of pain as each sound of my own cries takes me under.

She plays with my hair as I lose it in the back seat of my car.

Breathe and you’ll figure this out. You’re stronger than this.

I look at Aarabelle, and brush the side of her face. “So much has changed, baby girl. So much. Mommy’s going to be a mess, but I’ll do everything I can to protect you from it all. I love you so much,” I tell her then close the door.

When I left the house, Aaron was sitting on the deck. He asked if we could talk more tonight and try to find some kind of middle ground. I don’t even have a clue as to what kind of agreement we can come to, but I at least have to try. If I want any shot in hell with Liam, I need to know where things stand at home first.

There are so many issues flying through my mind: where he’ll sleep, clothing, do I file for divorce, what about all the money from him being declared dead? I sit in the driver’s seat and put the music on. I don’t want to think about any of this. I want to take a moment.

I pay no mind to where I’m going, because I’m singing as loud as I can with tears streaming down my face. Life is cruel. Love is a joke. And not even death is final.

I’m not ready to head home. I know I should because he’s waiting for her. He’s waiting for me. I’m being uncaring, but all I want to do is head to Liam and beg him to take me into his arms. Looking back in the rearview mirror, Aarabelle stares out the window, and I wish things could be different, but I’m grateful she’ll never remember all of this mess. I turn into my driveway and sit. The turmoil boiling through my veins makes it impossible to move. There’s not only the fear of him with Aarabelle, but also me too. I’m a match next to a canteen of gasoline, ready to ignite at any moment. We haven’t dealt with anything and I reluctantly agreed to let it rest for a few days.

A few days that I can’t go to Liam.

Time to get your shit together.

Aarabelle smiles when I get her from her car seat. I walk slowly with her to the deck where Aaron is standing with his back to me.

He turns slowly and casts his eyes on Aarabelle for the first time. I hold her close as she looks around. Aaron takes a slow step forward and smiles. “She’s beautiful.”

Words fail me, so I nod.

“She looks just like you, Lee.” Aaron’s eyes swim with love as he stares at my—our—daughter.

“I always thought she looked like you,” I say looking at her while she smiles at me.

“Can I?” he asks, his arms extended.

I shouldn’t pull her back, but I do. I can’t stop the fear that festers. He’s her father, he wanted her, and he will love her, I know all of this. But she’s only ever been mine. It makes me harsh and selfish, but I don’t really care. She’s my daughter. I’ve been through it all with her. Well, me and Liam. He’s practically been a parent to her, and I feel as if I’m betraying him. Which is insane.

“Lee,” my name rolls off his tongue.

Tears pool and one lone bead of moisture escapes. It slowly descends down my face before landing on my lip. “I j-just . . .” I stutter. My hands grip Aarabelle as she squirms to get free. Aaron moves closer, keeping his eyes trained on her as if he can’t look away.

This was the culmination of years of heartbreak. Years of both of us feeling inadequate and alone together. She’s the beauty in all the heartache. She’s the prize from all the desperation we endured. And she’s his. Not Liam’s.

No matter where Aaron and I land, Aarabelle is the glue that will hold our lives together. Forever we will be tied to each other. I slowly extend her, and his arms meet me halfway. Our hands touch as his eyes fill with tears.

“Hi, Aarabelle,” he says adoringly to Aara. The way he looks at her, like she’s the air he breathes, makes my chest tighten.

The arms I’d wished would wrap around her, protect her, love her are now holding her. She looks at Aaron with her signature smile. My body goes stiff as it all settles around us.