I leave the office feeling buoyant and hopeful. I dreamt of having more children, but I never expected it to happen, and I sure as hell didn’t think it wouldn’t be without help. Liam and I have a tiny miracle growing inside of me. I don’t know how he’s going to handle it, but I can’t stop the joy that builds.

I’m going to have another baby.

Once I arrive back at the office, I float around in a daze. I was so sure by now I wouldn’t still be pregnant that I didn’t really allow myself a chance to process what it all means. Aaron will need to be told delicately and not until Liam knows. God, I hope I don’t show early.

“Earth to Lee.” Jackson smiles waving his hand in front of me.

“Hi! Sorry.” My cheeks flush as I realize I’ve been staring off into space.

Jackson laughs and leans back. “How are you?”

“Good. I’m good.”

He smiles knowingly and I wonder if Mark told him. I’ll kill him.

“Dempsey doing okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, Liam is out doing . . . well . . . you know,” I sigh. “It’ll be a few more days until he’s back in touch.”

Jackson nods and steeples his fingers. I forget sometimes how far he’s come. The man who used to play beer pong as a sport is now a company owner. He took all of the bad things that happened to him and used them for good. “How are you handling his deployment?” he asks.

There’s no judgment in his voice. He must know how difficult this is for me. I may do a good job of masking my fears, but they’re there. They lurk in every shadow, waiting to jump out at me. The fear that someone will come to tell me he’s died weighs heavy. It’s the reality of loving him, but he’s worth battling my demons.

“I have good days and bad days. When he’s in Germany, I’m fine. We talk more often and it feels like he’s just down the street, but he’s been out of touch for a while now.”

“It won’t be too much longer.”

“No, we’re half done. It’s that last month that’s always the most agonizing,” I laugh.

“For us too.” His warm smile and blue-green eyes light up.

“So, you didn’t come all this way to just talk about me . . . what’s up?”

Jackson sits forward and explains what’s been going on in their investigation. It affects my job because that was the initial issue. When Aaron went out to Afghanistan, it was to see why supplies were going missing. The issue seemed to die out after Jackson got shot, but when they started to delve deeper, they found something was amiss.

“Anything you need and I’ll help,” I offer.

“I was hoping with your journalism background, you’d be able to look into a few things, but I want you to be comfortable.”

“As long as I don’t have to travel, I can help. I don’t know how great my contacts are and what I can find out, but I still have some friends.”

Jackson nods, “Great. Thanks, Lee.” He looks around awkwardly and I can tell this isn’t the full reason he’s here.

“Is there something else?”

“Aaron will be in the office more. I know you guys are talking and both moving on with your lives, but I felt you should get a heads up. I don’t condone all the shit he did, but he’s been my friend and saved my ass. If you want to cut back here or work from home more, I’ll do what I can to make this as comfortable as possible.”

Aaron and I have found a way to cope through all of this. We’re civil and kind, but I’m not sure working together is the best idea. Especially with me being pregnant. But Aaron isn’t responsible for supporting me, and I don’t expect anything from him. I need to produce an income.

“Can I think about how to handle this?”

“Of course. I just want you to know I’m your friend too, and I won’t let you and Aarabelle suffer either.” Jackson gives me a pointed look. “I mean it, Lee.”

I grin and nod, “I know. Now, how’s wedding plans?”

Jackson and I talk about their upcoming nuptials and how happy he is. It’s nice to see him come full circle and with someone like Catherine. They may not have been each other’s first loves but they are truly made for each other. Which is how I feel about Liam.

It may not have been the plan I had, but he makes me impossibly happy. Liam sees into the parts of my heart I never knew were there. He’s the clarity in the darkness that brings peace to my soul.

My computer rings and I fluff my hair. I haven’t seen Liam in weeks and I want to look stunning.

“Hi!” I squeal as his face comes into view.

“God, I missed your eyes,” he says and smiles.

My eyes start to water as I look at him. His dark brown hair is longer than he usually wears it and the scruff I love so much is a full beard. He still takes my breath away.

“I missed every part of you.”

“You look beautiful. How are you?” he asks and leans back on his pillow.

“I’m good. I miss you,” I say again. I wish I could find better words because missing him doesn’t seem strong enough. I yearn for him in a way that’s probably not healthy.

He chuckles, “I miss you too, Lee. Where’s Aarabelle?”

“With Aaron.”

“Ah,” he says and his face falls slightly. “I got an email from Mark the other day.”

Panic starts to churn, but I try to mask it quickly. “Oh?”

“Yeah, wanted to check in and see how things were. Let me know you were being watched and were doing good.”

“Watched?” I say a little pissed.

“You didn’t think I wasn’t going to make sure you had someone looking out for you?” Liam smirks.

“I think you forget I’ve done this a time or two there, Dreamboat.” I missed our playfulness. It’s one of the things I love most. He makes the most serious of situations easier to tackle.

“Yeah, but I haven’t. I needed to make sure my girls were okay.” The way he includes Aarabelle makes my heart explode with love. He’s going to be an amazing father to our baby.

I bite my lower lip and debate if I should tell him now. I decide to test the waters. “How did the last trip go?”

“Let’s not even talk about me and here. I swear I’ll never be happier to be stateside,” Liam huffs and then continues. “There’s been stupid fucking mistakes made over and over. I mean, you’d think I’m with a bunch of newbies this time. My frustration level is beyond high, and I’m going to have heads roll if there’s one more screw up. I thought someone would be coming home in a body bag this last one.”

Nope. Not going to tell him now.

“I’m sorry,” I shrug, partially disappointed. I want to tell him about our baby. Of course I wish it was in person versus over Skype or the phone. “The divorce should be final soon, by the way.”

“You okay with it?”

“I’m ready to start our lives with no more ghosts,” I reply earnestly.

Liam pauses and then his eyes get serious. He leans in and sincerity rings in his voice. “I’m going to make you happy, Natalie. I’m going to give you all the things you want, and I’ll never betray you. As long as we’re together, you and Aarabelle will be what I live for. I know she’s not mine, but I’ll love her like she is. I’m going to make sure you never know what it feels like to be second best.”