“How the hell do I do that?”

“You go upstairs and make yourself irresistible. He seems to have a weakness for red, doesn’t he? After all, you’re the host . . . shouldn’t you look presentable?”

I sit there with my jaw slack at her plan. But she’s right. If he comes in and sees me a crazy mess, it won’t help my cause. So I muster the strength I have left and stand. “Watch her please . . . I have some freshening up to do.”

Reanell smiles as I head up the stairs and decide he’s going to miss me no matter what.

I give myself a once over in the mirror before heading back downstairs. Thank God Rea came early. I made sure to wear my red dress from our first date. I have my hair in soft curls down my back, and I went very natural on my makeup, except for my cherry red lipstick. I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t want Aaron to think there’s a chance in hell we’re getting back together, but at the same rate, I need to wake Liam up. Make him see that giving up isn’t what he wants.

I slip on my heels and head to see what Rea thinks.

“Holy shit!” Reanell says as she holds Aarabelle. “Sorry, I mean . . . hi there. Are you trying to give him a stroke?”

“If that’s what it takes. My mom said they’re on their way. I figure the mommy should look good, right?” I no longer feel sexy and in charge . . . I feel stupid. Maybe this isn’t the best idea.

“Do not even think about changing,” Reanell chastises as she walks over. “You own this man. Now remind him just how much.”

“Gimme the baby,” I say with arms outstretched. “I’m going to get her in her party dress before anyone gets here.” I bounce her and she smiles, turning to Reanell, I give her something to do. “Everything should be set up, other than the cake, which my mother called and said she’s bringing one since she figured I botched this one. If you can make sure my mother never sees the kitchen, I’ll love you forever.” I laugh and shake my head. It’s the running joke that baking and I do not mix.

She nods and waves her hand. “Go make that baby shine for her first birthday!”

Aarabelle is in her pastel pink dress complete with little jewels on the bodice. I went a little crazy on this party, but I wanted to celebrate her birth. The reminder that something so perfect came at a dark time.

“Lee,” I hear Aaron’s voice as he knocks. “Wow. You look incredible, ba—” He catches himself.

“Thanks.”

“Hi, my beautiful girl,” he smiles and makes his way over to Aarabelle. He extends his hands, but she clings to me. “Mama’s girl through and through.” Aaron laughs it off, but I see that it hurts him. I’ll give it to him that he’s been trying. He spends as much time as he can with her and offers to help. “Who all is coming?”

I hear the undertone to his question. He wants to know if Liam is going to be here.

“A few of our friends, and you know my parents are here. Is your mom coming back down?”

Aaron shrugs and winces. I hate that he has some residual pain, but his right arm took the worst from the IED. The scars are more prominent. He explained the weather has a lot to do with his pain as well.

“She said she couldn’t stay this long. I’m going to visit her in a few weeks.”

“Okay, what about Brittany?”

He huffs then looks away. “I haven’t seen her since I’ve been here.”

“I’m only asking.” I try for nonchalant, but I’m sure I fail. There’s a part of me that wishes he would choose her so that I didn’t have to be the bad guy here. Yes, he cheated, but according to him it meant nothing. He says he wants a life with us, and even if I want to dismiss him, there’s a part of my life that belongs to him. “I’m sorry. That was out of line. I’m just nervous about the party.”

Aaron steps forward and brushes the hair off my face. “Can we ever get back to us?” His voice trembles with hope.

I look at him and let out a breath. “I don’t think so. I can’t explain what learning about your relationship was like, but it opened the door to seeing what our marriage truly was, and I can’t forget that. And I may not have been with Liam for very long, but I don’t know that I could go back. I know that hurts you, and I hate it. I don’t hate you, Aaron. I’ll always love you in some way.”

“I’m not giving up. I won’t let you walk away so easily,” he warns as he heads toward the other room.

He knows me better than anyone. Aaron can twist my heart so that it’s unrecognizable, and it scares me, but it wouldn’t be out of love. Loving someone is being unselfish and sometimes relinquishing your own wants for that person. It’s being noble in the face of knowing it would obliterate your world—like walking away. Like the man I love is doing now because he loves me.

I head down the stairs, and my mother and father rush over.

“Hi, sweet pea!” she yells and holds her arms out. She beelines straight for Aara and ignores me.

“Hello, Mother,” I chide, laughing.

“Hi, baby girl,” my dad says and pulls me into his arms. “You look like you’re going on a date.” He appraises me in a fatherly way.

“Nope.” I decide not to elaborate. My dad was always very protective. Hell, Aaron wasn’t even allowed in the house until I was eighteen. My father was the one sitting around talking about a black belt he never had and cleaned guns that I swear he only bought once I turned fifteen. He’s all bark and no bite.

“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in jeans?” he asks and I laugh.

“Give it up . . . how’s the hotel?”

“Fine. Your mother wanted to stay another night sightseeing in Williamsburg. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That woman can spend money like no one else.” He shakes his head and my mother slaps him in the chest.

“Where’s Aaron?” she asks.

“He was upstairs last I saw.”

She looks at my father and sighs. It’s got to be killing her to keep her mouth shut. There’s no way she doesn’t have an opinion on what I should be doing.

“Well, I think for Aarabelle’s sake, you should be trying to find a resolution.”

“Mom—” I cut her off.

I didn’t want to tarnish Aaron’s memory for my family or his, so I kept his infidelity a secret. To them, Aaron is still husband of the year. But now that he’s back, I’m glad I chose to keep it hushed. It’s between us regardless, and our mistakes don’t need to be broadcasted.

“No. I’m saying that he’s your husband and her father.” She raises her hand as if it’s just her friendly advice.

I reach out for Aarabelle and decide I’ve had enough pleasantries. “We’re going to make our rounds.” I smile and walk toward Reanell, who’s laughing at my discomfort. Some help she is.

The party is in full swing, and I can’t help but look over at the door for him. How can he not show up for her birthday? He’s been a father to Aarabelle since she was a baby. He was the man in the hospital with her. Liam cared for her when I was sick and held her in his arms. For him to not be here breaks me in two.