City of the Lost Page 87

I don’t tell Dalton what I think. I can’t, because he’ll still take responsibility. Instead, I say, “I don’t think she’d do that.”

He doesn’t answer. Just reaches for the bottle.

“That won’t help,” I say.

“Sure as hell feels like it will.”

He lets me take it from him, though, and slumps into a chair.

“So there’s my drunken confession,” he says. “Proof of exactly how incompetent your boss is.”

“Bullshit, Eric. You’re not incompetent. You just don’t trust me to investigate.”

“What?” He looks over, eyes struggling to focus.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He closes his eyes and slouches. “Fuck.”

“That’s not an answer.”

He reaches up and scratches his cheek, and opens his eyes, as if startled when he doesn’t feel the familiar beard shadow. He’s still shaving. For the trip, and then the memorial service, and now … well, I don’t know why.

He straightens. “I felt guilty and I didn’t want to tell anyone what happened and I thought there was no reason to. Not unless I worried you’d find out and think I—” He looks over at me sharply. “Unless you’d think I killed her.”

“I have to consider it,” I say. “For anyone.”

He goes still. Then he says, “Right. Of course.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I knew you’d have to include me in the suspects, but I didn’t put that together with Abbygail and that night, because, well, I didn’t kill her, so I never made the connection and …”

“You thought you didn’t count.”

He nods and slumps in his chair. “I told myself it didn’t matter. I just didn’t want … I knew how it looked … I figured I blame myself enough that it’s not like I need anyone else to point out that I fucked up.”

“You only fucked up in not telling me, Eric.”

We fade into silence. Finally he looks toward the steps. “I’ve kept you longer than five minutes.”

I could say yes, and he’ll go, but there’s that look in his eyes, the same one he had the night I stitched him up, when he was hoping I’d give him an excuse to avoid going back to that oppressive house with Beth. Now he faces an equally oppressive one in his own empty house. Alone with his thoughts, like me in that cavern. Alone in the darkness.

“I have homemade herbal tea,” I say. “A gift from the greenhouse folks, for solving the tomato case. I haven’t actually worked up the nerve to try it. But if you’re willing to be my guinea pig …”

The faintest tweak of his lips, not nearly a smile. “I am.”

“Then you start the fire and the kettle. I’ll grab a sweater and blankets, and we’ll sit on the deck.”

Three

We’ve been out there for about twenty minutes, silently watching the fox hunt mice.

“You do have to consider me,” he says, breaking the silence. “As a suspect. Anyone could be a killer if you push the right triggers.”

I hug my legs closer and say nothing.

“You don’t believe that,” he says.

“I’ve heard the theory. It’s been used in serial killer defences.”

“Yeah, I know.” He catches my look and says, “I read up on serial killers in case we ever get one smuggled in. But the idea that anyone could kill is not an excuse. It’s sure as hell not a defence. It just means you can’t underestimate people. If pushed to the wall, we’re capable of the otherwise unthinkable. It’s the instinct to survive and to protect.”

“And wreak vengeance?” I murmur.

“An instinct for vengeance? Nah. A drive maybe, stronger in some than others.”

“Stronger if that protective instinct is thwarted.”

He peers at me. “What are you thinking?”

“Just … considering.”

Once the clouds clear, it’s a perfect night for the northern lights, the sky lit up with the most amazing show I’ve seen yet. I’m in no rush to sleep—I swear that tea still had caffeine in it. Dalton and I have moved from the deck to my bedroom balcony.

My fox has returned from its prowling, and Dalton’s telling me a Cree story about a fox who outwitted a trickster god. Someone knocks at my front door, the sound echoing in the quiet. I call, “Back here!” and a moment later Anders appears in the yard.

He looks up to where I’m leaning on the balcony railing. He grins, and he’s about to speak when Dalton moves up beside me. Anders’s smile falters, but he finds a softer version of it, with a quiet, “Hey,” and then, “I need to talk to you, Casey. Actually, both of you.”

I look over the railing, measuring the distance to the ground.

“No,” Dalton says.

“You don’t think I can jump it?”

He snorts. “Do you think I’m stupid enough to say that, so you can prove me wrong? Get your ass down the stairs.”

I climb onto the railing.

“Did I just give you an order?” he says.

“I’m off duty.”

I jump. He mutters, “Fuck,” as I drop. I hit the ground. As I straighten, Anders smiles and shakes his head. Then his gaze lifts to my balcony.

“You’re still sleeping up there, right?”

I say yes, and there’s a pause, and it’s not until I hear a door close inside, as Dalton walks through the house, that I make the connection. I wave at myself. “Fully dressed.”

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