I whispered, “Why are you saying these things to me?”

“Because you can’t mourn her if you’re blaming yourself. I don’t want you locked there. You mean too much for me to let you do that to yourself.”

“Stop, Carter.”

His arms tightened, and he started kissing the back of my neck. His hand spread out and started caressing my stomach. “I won’t stop. I won’t ever stop. Don’t ask that from me. I love you, Emma.”

I loved him too. The power of that emotion swept through me and I sagged into him. He caught me and held me in place. He continued to kiss my neck as he whispered, “You’re mine. I won’t let you go. I won’t let you blame yourself for her death. You did what you could. It’s not your fault. It’s not.”

He held me as the tears began to fall. Carter carried me to bed and he stayed with me for the rest of the night. He got up at some point and I heard him on the phone. When he returned and got behind me again, he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “I called Noah and told him what happened. He’ll tell Theresa you can’t go out tonight.”

Theresa.

I sat up. Amanda.

Carter sat with me. “What is it?”

“Amanda doesn’t know. I have to tell her.” A whole new storm started inside of me. I’d have to tell her what he did to Mallory, then I realized he never said what happened to Ben. “Did the police get him?”

A wall slammed over his gaze. His jaw clenched. “No. My men are looking for him.”

“Oh god.” He knew what I did.

Carter pulled me close. “My men will find him.”

And that meant Ben had to die. One more person. No matter what Carter said, I was responsible for all of it. Mallory was dead because of me. Jeremy Dunvan was dead at my hands and now Ben was going to die because of what he knew about me.

“I have to go to her now.”

“Amanda?”

I nodded, feeling a heavy burden on my chest.

“Okay.” Carter kissed my forehead. “But I’m coming with you.”

As we left, our hands were laced together.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

When we got to Amanda’s building, Theresa was already there. She waited for us outside the front door, panting. She straightened and wiped her hair back as she tried to catch her breath. “Hi.” A deep breath. “Noah told me your friend died and I didn’t know which friend, but I figured you might be here. I didn’t know for sure. It was a crapshoot, but I made Noah look up your friend’s address.”

“What?” How?

“I remembered her name when we met in the bathroom awhile ago. Do you remember?” She bent over and took more deep breaths. “I booked it over here. I kept thinking I needed to be here for you.”

“How did you get Amanda’s address?”

“Oh, that.” Her cheeks reddened. “The cafe is owned by The Richmond. I made Noah look up her address.”

Carter and I shared a look. She already knew some of it but knowing it and hearing more about it were two different things. “Theresa, that means a lot to me, but-”

She waved it away. “No, no. I’m here for you. I want to support you. I do.” She turned to Carter, who still held my hand. “And I’m glad you’re here too.”

“You are?”

She nodded, so earnest. “I do. I am. I was hoping, anyway. I want to apologize for my behavior before. I was in your home and I acted atrociously towards you. You saved Emma’s life, in more than one way. The only thing I should be is grateful to you. So thank you.” She threw her hand out and waited.

Carter glanced at me from the corner of his eye, questioning, but shook her hand.

She pumped their hands up and down in one firm handshake. “Thank you for doing that.”

“For what?”

“For accepting my apology. That means a lot to me.”

“You must really like Emma.”

“I do.” Her whole face lit up. “I really do. She’s very loyal and she doesn’t use me for anything. Do you know how hard that is to find in a friend?”

Carter looked at me, as if to say ‘is she serious?’ before he remarked, “I have somewhat of an idea.”

“Oh, right.” She flushed again. “I forgot who I was talking to. You’re not that imposing in person, but I think it’s Emma. You seem, I don’t know, lighter? Maybe happier when you’re with her? Not like in the meeting or when we saw you without her. You were all dark and intimidating. I still laugh when I remember Allison’s reaction to you in that meeting. You’re all lethal and hot. I think she dropped her panties the second she walked through the door.”

“Theresa.” I was not in the mood for this.

“Hmmm?”

“My friend died and I have to tell my other friend the news. Can the Carter Fan Moment wait for another day? Maybe never?”

“Oh, sure. Sorry.”

Carter touched the small in my back. “Maybe we should head inside?”

When I pressed the buzzer for Amanda’s apartment, she let us in right away. She didn’t say anything over the intercom and as we got into the elevator, I couldn’t shake an odd feeling. That wasn’t normal. Amanda usually had something to say, but I pressed the button for her floor and shook it off. Maybe it was me. The entire day had sucked.

“You ready?” Carter asked me.

I nodded. She had to know, but I wasn’t ready to feel ripped down the middle again.

When we got to her floor, I knocked on her door.

After that, everything happened in fast forward. The door was swung open, but no Amanda. It was Ben. The only thing I had time to notice were that his eyes were wild before he jerked me against his chest, turned me around, and held a knife to my throat. He swung his other hand in front of me and pointed it in Carter’s face.

My nightmare was happening in front of my face.

He had a gun to Carter, who started to lunge forward.

Ben yelled out, “I don’t think so, buddy. I’ll slice her throat. Even if you can wrestle the gun from me, I’ll cut her open. You know I’ll do it.” A maniacal laugh came from him. It was high and shrill. “I believe you’ve seen my handiwork already, huh, Mr. Bigshot-Man-In-Charge! HUH?!”

Carter stood still for two seconds. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the barrel in front of him. Then his eyes slid to the knife at my throat before he barked over his shoulder, “Run. Now.”