“We also gather herbs for the Alchemists in Pyralis Apothecary,” Tess added. She was wielding a pair of pruning shears and I cringed, remembering the hack job I’d done on my hair with them. “But that will take a few lessons. Those herbs are tricky and a little dangerous.”

Ansel flashed a smile at Tess, and I was thrilled to see genuine enthusiasm warm his features. “I’ll take whatever you throw at me. Just say the word.”

“One step at a time.” Tess returned his smile before standing up, taking a full basket in each hand. “Why don’t you take a break while I run these to Eydis? You probably would like to hear Calla’s story.”

“We can help you carry them, Tess,” Bryn said. “There are more baskets.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied. “I’ll bring us back some lemonade. The lemons were just harvested this morning, so it will be amazing.”

“Sounds great!” Ansel grinned, plopping down into the dirt. Bryn nestled beside him, snuggling into his embrace. He didn’t flinch or try to pull away. My throat started to close up again and I had to look away, focusing on the ripening cherries that hung from the branches of a nearby tree. The tightness of my throat gave way to my mouth’s sudden watering.

“So what are you doing hanging out with the civilians, Cal?” Bryn asked as I sprawled on a bench across the path from where they sat. “Shouldn’t you be plotting the overthrow of the Keepers?”

“I guess.” I lay back, letting the Mediterranean sun drench my skin.

“You guess?” Something in her voice made me look at her. Bryn’s blue eyes were narrowed, searching. “What’s going on?”

I ground my teeth. “Well . . . it’s just . . . I . . .”

“Spit it out,” she said.

“I wanted to try something. I need to . . .” God, this is so hard.

“You need to what?” Ansel was gazing at me; worry furrowed his brow.

“I need to talk about my feelings,” I finally blurted out, and instantly felt blood rushing into my cheeks. I was sure my face mirrored the crushed velvet red of the nearby roses.

Ansel and Bryn both burst out laughing.

“Thanks,” I growled. “Your support is duly noted.”

“Sorry, Cal,” Bryn said, grinning and wiping a tear from her cheek. “It’s just . . . you’re adorable.”

“Adorable?!” I showed her my fangs. “I need help!”

“We’ll help.” Ansel was still laughing. “But it’s hilarious to watch you squirm just because you want to talk to us. Talking to their friends is what people do, Calla.”

“It’s not what I do,” I snarled. “I like to handle things on my own.”

“We know.” Bryn stopped smiling. “That means something’s really gotten to you.”

“Sure does,” Ansel said. “What’s up?”

Heat flooded my cheeks again. I stared at the path’s paving stones.

“Oh . . . oh,” Bryn said. I glanced up to see her and Ansel share a meaningful look.

“Oh God.” I buried my face in my hands.

Bryn kissed Ansel on the cheek and came over to me. “Scoot. I need to sit here.”

I made a place for her on the bench.

“Do you want this to just be girl talk or can your brother stay?” she asked.

“He stays,” I said quickly. “I need to hear what both of you think.”

“About your love life?” Ansel teased.

“You know I’m not above biting you—” I started, and instantly regretted my words.

His eyes clouded for a minute, but he forced a smile. “I’ll just muzzle you if you start acting like a rabid animal.”

“Enough,” Bryn interrupted. “Time for serious. What’s on your mind?”

Who’s on my mind is the better question.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just feel . . . confused.”

“About what?” Bryn lowered her voice. “About sleeping with Shay? Do you think it was a mistake?”

I blushed, glancing at Ansel. He was grinning like a fool again.

“No,” I said. “I’m not sorry. But I don’t know that it really changed anything.”

Ansel’s grin faded. “You’re saying you want to be with Ren?”

“Did you ever want to be with Ren?” Bryn peered at me like I was a specimen under a microscope. My skin felt hot, uncomfortable, and I didn’t think it was the warmth of the sun causing it.

“I never gave it much thought,” I said, edging away from her, trying to give myself room to breathe. “I just always assumed I’d be with him.”

“But Shay—” Bryn said slowly.

“You said you loved him.” Ansel’s words sounded almost like an accusation.

“I do.” I met his gaze, knowing the price he’d paid for that love. “I didn’t lie about that, An. I love Shay. I want to be with him.”

“So what’s the problem?”

I curled my fingers around the side of the stone bench. “I don’t know if he belongs with me.” When I said it out loud, my heart gave an unpleasant thud, like a stone dropping against my rib cage.

“I don’t understand,” Bryn said. “He loves you. It’s obvious.”

“I know,” I said. “But he’s the Scion. I think . . . I think it might be changing him.”

Bryn tilted her head. “He was different? After he got the sword?”

I nodded. An awkward silence settled on us, broken only by the sound of birds chirping above our heads and the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

“I never thought about that,” Ansel said finally.

Bryn couldn’t meet my gaze. “Me neither.”

I bit my lip, taking a long, slow breath. “So what do I do?”

“Do you still want Ren?”

I listened to my own heartbeat for a minute before answering. “Yes.”

“That’s one hot mess, Cal.” Ansel smiled at me. I almost snapped at him before I realized he was trying to lighten the mood.

“You sound like Mason,” I said, making a weak attempt at laughter.

“Well, he is my best friend,” Ansel said.

Bryn took my hand. “Calla, Ren’s an alpha, but so is Shay. It makes sense that you’d be drawn to both of them. You and Ren have a lot of history, which has to make this even harder.”