Beloved Page 48

What else is new? I’m emotional. With all the stress of the last few months and my lack of sleep, I’m a little frayed. The impending reading of my father’s will is wearing on me too. I want to get past all of this so I can get back to who I once was.

Swiping the tear from my face, I smile and retort, “No, I’m not.”

“I didn’t mean to be an ass**le and ruin our night.”

“You didn’t, Jackson. I’m sorry I pushed.” I smile and place my hand against his cheek. “But I’m going to keep telling you how incredible you are, okay?”

His smile is soft, placating. It’s clear he doesn’t believe me. I wish he could see what I see. I shrug and give him a quick kiss. I’m not giving up on him.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I put my finger up and hop out of the bed. “One minute. I just need to brush my teeth and all that good stuff.”

Seeing Jackson’s shirt on the floor, I grab it and throw it on, then enter the bathroom. I try to fix my now disheveled hair and quickly brush my teeth. I take a few extra minutes to get my head under control. He’s seen and been through so much. Are we both too f**ked-up to work? No, if I think like that, I’m doing exactly what I always do. He’s not f**ked-up, nor am I. We just have some healing to do.

Climbing back into bed, Jackson pulls me against his solid chest. “You look good in my shirt.”

I chuckle and smile at him. “You look good in your shirt too.”

His voice is low and oozes sexual promise. “You look even better out of my shirt.”

I laugh and shake my head. He effortlessly lifts me so we’re eye to eye and leans in to kiss me. It’s a slow, easy, and careful kind of kiss. It’s the kind of moment your heart will never recover from because you’re both saying so much. My head is spinning. I try to hold myself back. Between all the details tonight—the dinner, the earth-shattering sex, and then him finally opening up to me—Jackson has obliterated my walls.

He finally releases me, settling me into the crook of his arm. “Good night, baby.”

I smile even though he can’t see me. “Good night, Muffin.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Our night together put us over some imaginary threshold. We’ve talked almost every day and we saw each other for lunch a few days ago. It’s been two weeks of laughter and falling into a nice rhythm together.

I grab the subway and head to his apartment, where he has another day of surprises in store for me. He’s standing outside waiting, and the sight of him causes my pulse to spike. His dark brown hair is in sexy disarray and his white T-shirt is tight, which lets me see his defined muscles perfectly. Butterflies stir in my stomach. It astounds me that we’re dating—he’s magnificent, commanding, sweet, and so many other things. I can’t keep my eyes off him when he’s around. The chemistry between us crackles like flames on a log. My body comes to life when he touches me—it’s a heady feeling.

As I approach he gives me a lopsided grin. “Hello, gorgeous.”

“Hello yourself.” I smile and he immediately reaches out, pulling me flush against him. “Do you always have to manhandle me?”

“Well, baby, I’m all man and I sure as hell love to handle you.” His eyes glimmer with humor.

Hell yeah he’s all man—every single fantastic inch of him.

“You’re ridiculous.” I shake my head.

“Yet you keep coming back, so I must not be that bad.” He smirks and gives me a long, panty-melting kiss.

Right here on 5th Avenue in New York City, he has once again rendered me helpless. Shoppers, families, cabs, and bikers all fade away as his lips move with mine. Jackson pulls back and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

I love how physical he is, almost as if he can’t keep his hands off me. It’s such a contrast to anything I’m used to. Whether it’s holding hands or something as simple as touching legs when we watch television, those small moments say so much. They’re unspoken words that show the true depth of what we’re both feeling.

“So what’s on our agenda today?” I ask with a light heart.

There’s happiness dancing in his eyes when he responds, “The park.”

My face falls at his answer. Jackson told me to make sure I was comfortable today. No heels, no dresses. He said to be sure I wore sneakers. I made him promise no military training exercises, no entering me for some kind of race or marathon, and no other strenuous physical activity that would have me aching for days after completion. After my ribbing about his love of running and exercise in general, I was a little hesitant, but he swore I would love today. I trusted him—first mistake.

“Why do I think I should’ve stayed home in bed?” I groan.

He laughs and pulls me tighter. “I wasn’t in bed with you, so that’s reason enough to get up,” Jackson jokes in my ear as we walk. “One day I’ll get you to agree to a mud run or something, but you’ll be happy to know I kept my end of the bargain today. They don’t have an obstacle course in Central Park—yet. And there’s no marathon.”

“Yet somehow that doesn’t comfort me.” I smile and nudge him.

We keep walking until we stop in front of the Central Park Zoo. My smile is so wide I can’t contain it. I leap into his arms, wrapping my legs around his torso and pressing my lips to his. His eyes are bright and full of happiness.

“Jackson!” I squeal, hugging him tight.

“Happy?” he asks with an irresistibly devilish grin.

I’ve thought it before and I’m thinking it now—Jackson can read my mind. Or we’re just that in sync. The zoo. This is one of the few places that holds any kind of happy memories for me and my dad. I love that he brought me here.

I let him see it all in my eyes, allowing him to see how very much this means to me. My whole heart is open to him as we stand wrapped around each other. After a few seconds or minutes—I don’t know which—I give him another kiss and untangle myself.

“Come on, babe. Let’s go inside.” His husky voice wraps around my heart, warming me from the inside out.

Our fingers lace together as we enter through the brick archway. I pull him around the zoo, looking at all the animals and laughing with him throughout our miniature safari in the city. We walk and catch each other up on the days we were both swamped and couldn’t talk. Jackson informs me about his upcoming trip to Virginia in the next few weeks. I tell him about Ashton’s newest fling. When we approach my favorite animals, I’m practically bouncing up and down.

“I love the camels!” I shout, pulling him to the fence. “They’re the most underrated animals.”

Jackson’s laughter peals through my cooing at the camel in the back. “You’re kidding. This is your favorite animal?”

“Whatever! I think they’re cute. They have the humps and they’re strong.” I stare through as the one I’m wooing comes closer.

“I like to hump and I’m strong. I’m sensing a pattern.” His brow lifts.

My brain blanks out as I envision Jackson doing a variety of things in the bedroom. I need to move off this topic quickly before my thoughts go further in the wrong direction.

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