Ashton smiles and swats my ass while laughing. “Yeah, I wouldn’t willingly leave that man’s bed either.”

I flush thinking of some of the things Jackson and I did together. The way his body was made for mine, the way he could drive me to the end with his words alone. He was my other half in every way. I miss him already. Every night since the memorial he’s starred in my dreams. My mind drifts to him during the day, and then he haunts me in my sleep. I close my eyes and hold my arms over my chest. One day. One day it won’t hurt so much.

“Hey,” Ashton nudges me. “I’m sorry. Let’s enjoy our night with fattening food and then tomorrow hopefully you’ll be so hung over you won’t be able to fly.”

A laugh escapes me at the logic in her plan and I decide I need to keep my thoughts of Jackson at bay. I made my choice, now I have to live with it.

“Okay, let’s eat so I can be bloated.”

“Deal.”

The pizza gets delivered and we spend our night curled up on the couch talking about all the things I have to do in California. She demands that if I meet any Hollywood A-listers she’s the first to know. Also if I start dating any of them she’s agreed to quit her job and become my personal assistant.

Reluctantly we clean up and return to the couch.

“Let’s have a slumber party like we did when we were kids,” Ashton suggests.

“Okay,” I reply and grab the blankets off the couch.

We turn the lights off and wrap ourselves up. I have to be up in a few hours and Ashton promised she’d take me to the airport.

“I’m going to miss you, Biffle.” Her voice is quiet but I hear her.

“I’ll miss you more,” I whisper, but she doesn’t respond.

A few minutes later, right as I’m about to fall asleep, I hear Ashton sniffle as a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Let’s go!” I yell to Ashton as she drags her feet. We woke up and had coffee and a lot of tears. But now you’d think she just got out of bed. She’s moving slower than normal. I swear she’s doing this on purpose.

“I’m coming, Jesus. Calm your tits.”

“Well, I’m going to miss my flight if you keep screwing around.”

“We have plenty of time.” Ashton rolls her eyes and walks away. “I’m gonna grab my keys.”

This is the last time I’ll be in my apartment. The memories besiege me of when we moved in and I smile remembering us fighting over the paint color. Ashton of course won, which is why we have a blue living room when I wanted brown. I smile thinking of the scuffmark on the floor that we covered up with a rug because we dropped a table. Ashton and I arguing over food, which couch to buy, and so many other things happened right here.

This is my home. It’ll always be my home.

I glance at the photos on the wall and my chest squeezes when I see the one of me, Ashton, and Gretchen from high school. I know I’ll never find friends like them again and even though there’s the phone and internet, it’ll never be the same. When I need a hug, or to be slapped around, they won’t be able to.

Ashton comes up behind me and tackles me to the ground hugging me. “Don’t leave me!” she says in an exaggerated panic and starts to tickle me.

“Ash!” I squirm and try to fight her off, but she holds me tight.

“You can’t leave if I hold you against your will,” she laughs and sits on my back.

“Get off me, you asshole! What are you doing?” I try to wriggle, laughing while she assaults me.

Ashton starts to bounce up and down, not letting up. “This is a struggle snuggle. Don’t fight it—it feels better if you let it happen.” She giggles and lies on top of me. “Let it happen,” she whispers and pets my hair.

She’s lost her mind. That’s the only explanation. Girl has completely cracked.

“I’m going to give you a struggle if you don’t get off me.” I laugh so hard there are tears running down my face. “I’m gonna pee my pants!” I burst out.

She laughs and falls off me, lying next to me on her back looking at me. “Ohhh,” she sighs and smiles. “I had to make us laugh or I’d cry again, and we all know that’s a bad idea if I have to drive.”

My heart warms and I return her smile. There’s so much history between us, so many times we’ve laughed or cried together. I’ll miss her more than I can fully express. She’s my partner in crime and my world will be boring without her.

“You know you’ll always be my better half?” I say as I sit up.

Ashton follows and smoothes her dark red hair into a ponytail. “Yup. I know, but one day Prince Charming is going to come along and sweep you off your feet,” she pauses and stands. “Hopefully he delivers your ass back to New Jersey. Come on, you’ve got a plane to catch.”

She grabs my hand and pulls me up. We head to the car and Ashton suddenly stops short.

“No more stop—” I start to say and freeze when I see Jackson leaning against a black stretch limo smiling.

Ashton turns blocking my view. “This is goodbye, Biffle,” her eyes fill with unshed tears. “I’m going to miss you so much. Promise me we’ll Facetime every day. Promise that no matter how amazing these people you meet are, they’ll suck in comparison to me.” A tear falls on her cheek and my chest tightens.

“I promise. They’re no Ashton Caputo.” I smile and she pulls me in to her.

“I love you. I’m so fucking proud of you, my friend. You’re going to kick ass, take names, and be sexy as hell doing it. Don’t doubt yourself, Cat.” She wipes the tears running freely down her face. “I never have.”

“I’m going to be so lost without you and your craziness.”

We hug a little tighter and I hear Jackson approach, “Catherine, we have to leave if you want to make your flight.”

I nod and pull her close once more. “Goodbye, Ashypoo.”

“Bye, my love pie.” We both sniffle and break apart.

Jackson grabs my bag and my hand as I look back once more. Ashton stands there holding her middle with tears streaming down her face. He hands my bag to the driver and helps me in the car. Looking out the window at her standing there, my tears fall faster. This is so hard. I want to stop the car and fix my best friend because she doesn’t cry. She uses her sarcasm and wit to avoid hurt, but she’s hurting.

Jackson’s arms encase me and I take the comfort he’s offering. Once again, in the back of a car, this man holds me together. Only this time it feels like it’s me who died. There’s no doubt that this is what I want, this job is everything I’ve ever wanted for my career—yet the things I feel like I’m losing are ripping me apart. I want it all. The love of my life, my best friend, and this job—but I can’t ask them to come with me and I can’t stay here.

“I know this is hard, believe me I know, but it’ll be okay,” Jackson says as his fingers graze the skin on my arm.

I pull myself upright and brush the tears off my face. “I’m so sorry,” I say shaking my head trying to dispel the sadness. “You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here,” he says tenderly, drawing me back against him. “You weren’t leaving without me seeing you.”