Beholden Page 5
I open my mouth to tell her … fuck, I don’t know what I want to say. Each part of me wants to say something different. To yell, beg, scream, and punch my way through this fucking nightmare. Tell her how she destroyed me, made me give up everything for her, only to have her take more.
“Why?” is the only word I’m capable of saying.
She stands unmoving letting my question hang in the air while my heart beats erratically.
“Why?” I ask again more forcefully. She needs to answer me. I step toward her and a smile crosses her perfect lips. “Goddammit, why?”
Her features soften, and as I get closer she finally says, “It wasn’t supposed to be.”
I stop moving and my eyes close in pain. Ice shoots through my veins leaving me frozen and void.
When I open them she’s gone.
All over again.
“Fox, what’s your view look like?” I ask trying to get the other half of the guys to give me a status update.
Nothing.
I try a different one. “Razor, do you copy?”
Silence.
“Bronzer, come in. What’s your status?” I look around trying to remain still since it’s daylight and I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
I turn to Mark and signal him to try. “Fox, Razor, Bronzer, do you copy?”
“We copy. We need to move. Out.”
Their location must be compromised. There’s no other reason they’d move in daylight. I signal to Aaron and Mark that we need to move.
“If they’re on the move, something’s wrong. Let’s take to the other side and we’ll meet them when it’s safe,” I say as we prepare to head out.
Everything feels rushed. Every moment feels like it’s on fast forward. We make it to the edge of the village and try to find a place to wait it out. We’re out of range to talk to the other three now, but Razor’s in charge. We’ve done enough missions together to know each other’s moves. If I were him, I would wait until the time we selected. We have our extract in three hours. It gives us about two hours to get what we need and get the fuck out of here.
I turn to Aaron, and before I can get a word out, the percussion of gunfire explodes in the air. We drop to the ground, ready to shoot back.
Pop. Pop. Pop.
Fast and steady, but it’s not close to us. We hear screaming and the continuous shooting on the other side of the village. Mark starts calling on the radio to the other half of our team, but we’re still out of range.
“Fuck this. We’re going in.” I grab my gun, and Mark and Aaron are on my heel.
“Muff, the left.” I take the guy out before he gets a shot off.
We fall out to the side of the building and start to creep in. I see them. They’re shooting, but they’re outnumbered. Everything happens in slow motion. I watch the bullet perforate Brian’s neck when he stands to take a shot. The stream of blood and the strangled scream he makes echo as he falls. Either Mark or Aaron shoots and kills another three men. We’re moving as fast as we can, but it’s too late. I eliminate another four by the time I reach Brian.
“Fuck. Hold on.” I squeeze his neck trying to stop the bleeding, but his eyes are fading. “Fuck. Call and get the extract in here now!” I scream as Aaron’s already radioing in our location. “Where is the rest of the team?”
“Jackson! Can you hear me?” Catherine is frantic. Why is she here? What is she doing here? No!
She has to get the fuck out of here. She’ll die.
Please God don’t take her too! I can’t.
“I have to leave soon, I need you to wake up before I go,” she whispers and I snap out of it.
Leave? What? No!
“Fight for me, baby.”
I’m trying. If only I knew how …
Days pass by and nothing changes. He doesn’t move or speak. I sit here wondering when or if he’ll wake. Will he be the same man he was?
Jackson’s mother arrived early this morning and she’s everything he described her as. Her warmth is evident even in the situation we’re currently facing. After she and Mark embraced, she took me into her arms and held me close. I hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that.
“Mrs. Cole, do you need anything?” I ask timidly.
She smiles and places her hand on mine. “No, sweetheart. I’m okay, and please, call me Nina. I’m just waiting for him to stop being a stubborn ass and wake up.” Her sweet voice reassures me that she has all the faith we need.
I smile at her as she sits in the chair next to Jackson. I take the seat on the other side of his bed with the man we love in between us. I grab his hand and hold it, feeling the heat that reminds me he’s alive. The constant beeping of the machine gives me something steady to hold on to.
Beep.
Two seconds pass.
Beep.
One. Two.
Beep.
Nina clears her throat drawing my attention. “So tell me, how did you two meet? I wish I knew these things, but Jackson has been distant. His father and I are lucky to hear from him once every six months lately.”
She smiles, but even I can hear the undercurrent of disapproval at his lack of contact.
“I didn’t know he was being so …” I struggle to find the right word, because really, I wouldn’t know. We never had a meet-the-parents discussion. Not that my family would even require that.
“Oh, honey, it’s not your fault. I raised him better than this. Once he wakes up, I’ll give him hell, don’t you worry. Now, tell me about you and Jackson.” Her eyes are alight at the prospect of learning about us. Not that our story has a very happy ending at this point.
“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing … but I fell on him.” I giggle remembering that night at the restaurant. “I was out to dinner with my friends, and I tripped and literally fell into his lap. He asked me to have a drink, but I turned him down.”
“You did?” Nina smirks, and I blush.
“Yes, I wasn’t really ready to … I don’t know, date or contemplate dating anyone. I was hurt pretty badly by my ex. So the last thing I was looking for was a relationship,” I try to explain. Too bad I didn’t stick to that—it would’ve saved me some heartache.
Nina shakes her head in understanding. “Ahh, we all have one of those men, don’t we? Mine was right before Brendan. I swear I thought we had it all. There was always something keeping me back from going forward. However, as fools in love, we usually push forward against our better judgment. But then Brendan came along and showed me what true love was. So how did you and Jackson end up together?”
My voice softens as I tell our story. “Well, I’m a publicist and my company was bidding for Raven. I won the account and Jackson was thrown back in my life.”
“Sounds like fate intervened,” Nina says with the voice of wisdom.
Fate or Jackson Cole.
“Yes, it did. We both tried to fight our feelings but I fell all over again. He’s patient and understanding. He’s everything I need. It was like no matter how hard I tried, I somehow found myself unable to resist him.” I bite my lip and sniffle thinking about how much he owns me. “Sorry, I get a little emotional.”