He laughs, but I know it isn’t from his heart. He is hurt I said that, and I couldn’t hate myself more.

Way to ruin it, Amberlyn!

Still laughing, he shakes his head. “I’m so embarrassed.”

Internally I scream before coming up on my knees, crawling over to him and wrapping my arms around him, kissing down his jaw.

Quickly, I say, “No, it was perfect.”

He scoffs. “I couldn’t even last. My God, you are so damn tight.”

“It’s okay, I promise. I just thought it was supposed to feel good.”

He cuts me a look. “So ya didn’t even enjoy it?”

Fuck me!

I know my face says it all, and before I can even try to lie, he shakes his head and looks away. “Fucking hell, I’m a fucking wanker.”

“No, you are perfect,” I say, trying to make it better, but I’m sure I am making it worse.

“Ah, hell, Amberlyn, let me wallow,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t lie to me.”

Closing my eyes, tears leak out the sides as I lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He laughs, again soulless. “What for? I’m the one who failed ya.”

“No, not at all,” I say, looking at the profile of his lovely face. “It was the first time. I’m sure the second time will be good.”

He looks down, moving his hand along his naked thighs. “The first time was supposed to be memorable. Now when ya think of this, you’ll think of me coming after two pumps in ya.”

I close my lips tightly to keep from laughing. This. Is. Not. Funny. But soon, I am sputtering with laughter, and it’s not long before he is too. Looking over at me, he wraps his arms around me and we lie back on the blanket. Cuddling into his side, I hook my leg over his hip before meeting my lips to his. Holding me tightly, he moves his mouth with mine, but then he pulls back.

“I’ll rock yer world next time.”

“Of course you will,” I say with a nod, and then I smile sheepishly. “Did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Ya have that diarrhea of the mouth, as Fiona calls it. Plus your face tells me everything you are thinking. It wasn’t good, but it will be next time. For sure.”

“I do love you,” I say as I run my finger along his jaw, looking deep into his eyes. “So much. I wouldn’t have wanted my first time to be with anyone but you.”

His eyes fill with passion as he nods. “I wish it had been my first time too.”

I press my lips together to keep my retort in, but I swear he reads my mind because he says, “Which, the way I came, might as well have been.”

I giggle uncontrollably beside him, and he wraps his arms tightly around me, covering my mouth with his and silencing me. Playfully, we kiss and just laugh at the sheer perfection that is us. I wouldn’t change a thing about this. It was a hot mess, but our hot mess. When my phone starts to sound, I pull away because it’s Fiona calling.

“Sorry,” I say as Taylor Swift sings about shaking it off. “Fiona is calling.”

“Yeah,” he says as I lean over him, getting my phone out of my pants.

Hitting the talk button, I say, “Hello?”

“Hey, where are you?”

I pause. “Riding with Declan.”

She laughs. “Riding him or a horse?”

I giggle and she screams, causing me to hold to phone out. “Ah, Fiona!”

She apologizes before giggling like a little girl. “I want all the details,” she says closely into the phone, and I just laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, why’d you call?”

“Dinner with Ma and Da? I’m not surprised ya forgot.”

“Shit! I’m coming.”

“Are ya now?” she asks suggestively, and I just shake my head before hanging up on her. “We gotta go. We are supposed to be at dinner.”

“Oh shite,” Declan says before hopping up, but when he does, I see that there is blood all over his stomach.

“Oh my God! What happened?”

He looks down and shakes his head in confusion, but when he looks back at me, he points at me. “You’re bleeding.”

I look down to see that I am, in fact, covered in blood from the waist down.

“This was a train wreck.”

He laughs as he pulls me to him. “Yeah, but who cares?” he asks, and I smile. Winking at me, he says, “I love ya.”

I cup his face as I nod. Looking deep into his eyes, I feel so well loved. Yeah, this was a train wreck, but I’d take a train wreck and feel completely in love over the perfect first time and for it to end in a month.

This is forever.

Train wreck, rain checks, and all.

Kissing his lips quickly, I pull back and say, “I couldn’t agree more.”

After going back to Declan’s room to clean up and to change—thank God, I had that ugly darn dress—we rush back to my aunt and uncle’s. The table was already set and everyone was seated when we got there. To my surprise, Kane was seated too. He never comes for dinner. Eyeing him as he gives me a look, I give him one back, which results in us both snickering. Declan pulls out my seat for me and I sit down, sending him a grin before he sits down beside me, both of us apologizing for our lateness.

“He stole me away from tea, and we went riding and lost track of time. I’m so sorry,” I say, sending a shy grin to my aunt. I am probably grinning like a fool, and I’m sure the whole room knows I’ve just had sex.

But thankfully, my aunt waves me off and says, “It’s fine, honey. We just sat down. Kane and Michael were discussing something with some kind of compressor. We had no trouble waiting.”

I smile, but when my gaze meets Fiona’s playful one¸ I turn bright red. I hope that my eyes are conveying the fact that I will kill her if she says anything, but I guess they don’t because she says, “I’m sure that isn’t the only thing you lost.”

Declan looks up and then at me before looking over at Fiona and chuckling as he shakes his head. Kane is holding back his laughter, a sinful smirk on his face while my poor aunt and uncle are in the dark.

Thank God.

Glaring, I reach for my cup and shake my head as my aunt asks, “What did you lose, honey? Did you find it?”

When beer spurts out Kane’s nose and Declan starts to choke, I swear I am going to kill Fiona. Even as she grins at me, her face glowing and looking beautiful, she too is fighting to keep it together, her eyes dancing with laughter. But I know I might have to end my cousin.