I stood there while the gun went off, and still, I didn’t believe it was happening. I thought it was all a joke, but then she slammed into me. The blood spilled from her beautiful body, staining everything red, and all I could do was hold her close to me and pray that she’d make it. I have never loved anyone the way I love her. I felt completely and utterly lost as I watched her blood leave her body. I didn’t know how to fix it. My hand wasn’t stopping the bleeding, and I couldn’t save her. I was crying like a wee baby. I remember singing her song, but it was more for me than her. I needed something to keep me calm, and imagining the words coming from her sweet lips did it.

It was horrible. Something I never want to experience again.

I honestly don’t know how she made it. The doctors were worried, which made me worry more. What would I do if I lost her? Would I shut down again? Would I lose everything? Surely my da would have made an exception, but what if he wouldn’t? I couldn’t blame him because I wouldn’t find anyone else. Amberlyn is it. She is my future.

Honestly though, I still can’t believe she wants to marry me. I think I knew from the start that I would make her my wife, but I never expected her to be so willing with only knowin’ me a couple months. She is making a huge commitment to me, and I thought maybe I’d see fear or something, but nothing but love is in her sweet aquamarine eyes. She loves me, and Lord knows I love her even more. We are young, and this may be a little mental, but I believe in us. I know we will be grand.

Together. As long as I can protect her.

“Stop looking like that. I’m fine,” I hear her sweet voice say.

I turn to look at her and she is smiling. She is wearing a tank and some sweat pants that Fiona had brought her. Her hair is high on her head, her eyes bright, but her skin is still pale. I can see the pain in her eyes but also the undying love. I don’t know how she can be smiling. I don’t want to smile; I feel like shite, and I honestly don’t know how to feel anything but. All I keep doing is seeing her bleeding everywhere, dying in my arms.

But she isn’t dead. She is here, and maybe that should make me smile.

Reaching over, I take her cheek in my hand and try to smile, but I just can’t. I feel so horrible that this has happened.

“I just worry about ya, love.”

“I know,” she says, covering my hand with her own. “But I’m here. I’m alive and we are fine.”

I nod slowly, looking deep into the eyes that hold my forever. “I love you, Amberlyn.”

“I love you,” she says softly, stepping in closer to me. “I love saying that.”

“Me too,” I admit, holding her close and kissing her nose. “Are you ready to go home?”

“I am,” she agrees.

I want to take her to my home, but I know that is out of the question. I hope that Mr. and Mrs. Maclaster don’t mind my hanging out because I have to make sure she is okay.

Or I’ll drive myself mad.

Once we are back to the Maclaster home, Mrs. Maclaster fusses over Amberlyn, leaving me to stand off to the side, awkwardly unsure what to do. Mr. Maclaster stands beside me, and he hasn’t talked to me since the shooting. He doesn’t even look me in the eye, and I know it’s because he feels the same I do.

That this is my fault.

Even Mrs. Maclaster isn’t looking at me like she used to. She used to admire my family, obsess a bit, but now I think she thinks I’m as good as shite. It upsets me since they are the closest thing to parents that Amberlyn has. I want them to like me, but then again, do I even deserve their blessing?

When I see Amberlyn cringe from how tight Mrs. Maclaster is tucking her in, I ask, “Are you all right like that?”

I receive a look from Mrs. Maclaster as she says, “Now, Declan, I’ve been tucking babies into bed for years. I’m sure I’ve got it.”

“Mom, she looks in pain,” Fiona points out, thank God. She is the only one who doesn’t look at me like I was the one who fired the gun.

She gives me a small smile as Amberlyn says, “I’m fine. Honestly, no reason to fuss over me.”

“It’s our jobs. I promised your ma and da, so hush, let me fuss if I please,” she says, and I can see her choking back her tears. “I already failed them a bit.”

Amberlyn gives her a loving smile as she slowly shakes her head. “No, you didn’t, and don’t think that. I made my own decision. I couldn’t let anything happen to him.”

“Yeah, sure, but in the process of protecting him, we failed to protect you,” she says sternly, shaking her head. “It’s over. Let me wallow in my guilt and pray you get better.”

Amberlyn reaches out, squeezing her aunt’s hand, setting her with a look. “I am going to be fine. I already feel so much better just being home. Don’t worry. You’ve done everything you’re supposed to. If I weren’t so loved by you guys, then I wouldn’t have had the instinct to jump in front of Declan to protect him. You’ve helped mold me into a woman my mom and dad would be proud of. Remember that.”

Looking at the floor, I close my eyes as the room falls silent.

“No one is at fault here.”

“That wanker is,” Fiona says with a vengeance, and I couldn’t agree more.

“Yes, he is, but we have to forgive him because he is lost and isn’t loved like we are.”

“I’ll never forgive him,” Fiona promises, and again, I agree.

“No, you have to because we should pity him, not hate him. It takes so much out of a person to hate someone; don’t let him have that power over you. I’ve forgiven him, I’m moving on, I am going to make this life the best one yet. I only have one.”

Tears sting my eyes as I think that she almost lost that life for me. She is so uplifting, so positive, and I wish I could be an ounce like her. I can’t forgive him, I want to kill him, and it worries me. Does that mean I’m not the man she deserves? Because I want to be the man she wanted to die for. But what if I’m not?

“You are a beautiful soul, Amberlyn. I love you so,” Mrs. Maclaster says, kissing her cheek softly before cupping her face.

“I love you too, all of you. Everything is going to be fine. From here we can only go up,” she says with a bright grin.

“I’ll let you rest,” Mrs. Maclaster says before lightly touching her shoulder and heading toward the door, only giving me a sideways look.