Awake at Dawn Page 16
Holiday rolled her eyes. "If anything I think it's just the opposite. I think your brain is holding off giving you your powers until it thinks you're capable and mature enough to deal with them."
"Are you calling me immature?" Kylie made her point and stuck out her tongue.
"Not immature." Holiday chuckled. "I think you're wiser than a lot of girls your age." Her expression went serious again. "But that doesn't mean that you haven't got a lot to learn." Holiday stood up. "Do you think you can sleep now?"
"Maybe," Kylie said, but deep down, she doubted it.
Holiday got to the door, then turned back. "Oh, about the ghost problems.
If she doesn't give you anything to work with the next time she shows up, tell her you're going to shut her out until she offers something more concrete. Then do it. If she doesn't give you something different, change channels on her. Nothing ticks off a ghost more than being ignored.
That usually makes them figure out a better approach."
"How do I change channels?" Kylie asked.
"Concentrate on something else. It has to be something you want to think about." Holiday's brow rose as if she'd just remembered something.
"Like making out with Derek."
Kylie saw something in the camp leader's eyes and she knew. "Burnett told you."
Holiday nodded. "And I'm not going to get involved with that, but just promise me you're not doing anything you'll regret."
"Nothing happened," Kylie said.
"This time." Holiday let go of another of her deep sighs.
Kylie sat up a little straighter. "Derek would never try to pressure me into ... anything."
Holiday's chin lowered and her gaze zeroed in on Kylie with startling effect. "It's not Derek I'm worried about, Kylie."
Kylie looked down at her hands, feeling exposed. How did Holiday know how close Kylie was to giving in? Then Kylie remembered Holiday was just like Derek-she could read people's emotions. Obviously, just being around Derek had Kylie putting out turned-on vibrations. Good grief, she might as well just put a sign around her neck that said I'M HORNY. And wasn't that just lovely?
"Kylie ... it's nothing to be embarrassed about. And I'm not asking you not to ... What I'm asking is that when you do make that decision, it's a decision you make rationally and not one you just let happen. You understand the difference?"
Kylie nodded.
"Good." Holiday walked out.
Even after the door closed, Kylie's chest filled with even more emotion-
embarrassment, uncertainty, and a touch of resentment. She didn't want Holiday or anyone knowing her deepest emotions or desires.
Then she recalled the sister-like bond she'd found with Holiday, the one Kylie totally valued. She supposed there was a downside to every good bond. She supposed a real older sister, even an all-human one, would have felt compelled to talk to her about sex.
As Kylie dropped her head back on the pillow, she remembered how it had felt to kiss Derek and wondered if she could ever make a rational decision where he was concerned. Especially when he had the ability to control her emotions.
Socks leapt up on the mattress, and Kylie was totally caught off guard when her thoughts went from kissing Derek to kissing Lucas.
Great. Just freaking great. She grabbed her pillow so tight that if it had a life, she'd killed it. Socks let out a pathetic meow and scurried back to the foot of the bed. Kylie moaned into the foam stuffing beneath the pillow case. She was already going to have a hard enough time sleeping and now she had the whole Derek versus Lucas thing to mull over.
Chapter Six
An hour later and she hadn't hit a lick of sleep yet. Well, not more than a few seconds. Every time she'd almost be there, she'd get this strange kind of sensation as if she was floating, or maybe flying, and the odd feeling would yank her from the light slumber. Once, right before she'd awoken, she'd spotted Lucas, as if she was about to dream of him.
He'd been surrounded with what looked like clouds, and a cool breeze stirred the foggy atmosphere. Just when she'd get a good look at him another cloud would float by, hiding him from her. He'd been wearing a button-down shirt, left unbuttoned, and that breeze would pick up the ends of the shirt, showing off his chest and flat stomach. That's when the cloudy atmosphere started moving faster and the sensation of flying grew stronger and yanked her awake.
Catching her breath, she sat up and pushed her hair from her face.
Disappointment started to build, but she chased it away. She couldn't even think about the other "Lucas" dream-them in the water, only partially clothed-without blushing. She certainly didn't need to add a second dream to her couldn't-think-about list.
Rolling over, she punched her pillow as if the bag of foam could be the blame. Then sitting all the way up, she turned on her light and without even knowing what she planned to do, she pulled out the letter. The letter from Lucas. The one Holiday had given her weeks ago but she hadn't read.
Hi Kylie, I've started writing this letter a dozen times and crumpled it up and tossed it away. Maybe it's because I don't know what to say, when there is so little I can say at this point and time. Maybe it's because I just shouldn't write you, because ... it's wrong. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't think about you all the time, reasons that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I know I'm not making sense and if I could, I would explain it to you. Hell, maybe if things turn out the way I hope, I can explain it to you. Not sure that would change anything, but damn if I don't hope.