CHAPTER ELEVEN

Autumn

I succeeded in following Nathan’s advice, partly by skipping school, until Thursday. I couldn’t completely avoid the prince, of course, and still greeted him each morning in homeroom and in history and worked—silently—next to him in English literature. But he didn’t press for my company, and I began to think that I had made my stance on him clearer than I had thought when he had driven me home.

I woke up Thursday morning to the prospect of the after-school textiles period, and therefore a whole room of gossiping girls. The hype around the prince had still not died down, and even I had to admit he had incredible patience, considering how he was effectively stalked by half the student population. The paparazzi seemed like a better bet compared to that.

We were let out late from the lesson before lunch, and coming out, I found that most people had already eaten. Thankfully, the cafeteria had finally got their act together now that there were two Sagean vegans in the school, and there were plenty of sandwiches left. I grabbed one, paid, stuffed it into my bag, and made the walk of shame through the seating area to the exit. From one of the circular tables inhabited by the soccer and rugby teams, the prince caught my eye and raised his hand, as though to motion me over. I quickly looked away and sped up.

Tammy and the others were on the field, making the most of the reappearance of the sun, and that was where I was headed. I easily made my way through the mingling students—they had always parted for me before, but now they stumbled and moved with a kind of disbelief, as though I couldn’t be who the prince said I was.

“Freak! Oi, freak!”

The call came from the other side of the quad. I told myself to keep walking.

“Fur-reak!”

I closed my eyes briefly. Valerie Danvers. I was surprised she hadn’t approached me earlier, considering the new material the revelation concerning my title must have brought her.

“Hey, useless! You let that man die on purpose, didn’t you? You basically killed a man! Just like the last guardian killed Kurt!”

Keep going. Ignore her.

“Oi, duchess! You too much of a snob to talk to me now? Duchess, where’s your granny? Go on, tell us where your granny is.”

Keep walking. She will get tired of it eventually if you ignore her.

“C’mon, don’t be a spoilsport, I only asked a question.”

I bounded up the steps to the field, walking as fast as I could.

“Is your granny dead, freak? Did they murder her?”

My breathing shortened. I was almost running.

“Did they kill her ‘cause she’s a freak like you?”

My tongue ran across dry lips, blood hot.

“Fucking witch, she deserved to die.”

Sticks and stones, she always said. Sticks and stones.

“Mortana!” The curse left my lips before I could stop it, accompanied by a writhing ball of molten energy that had been stewing in the sweat of my hot palm, fighting against my clawed fingers to find its way to her skin. As I closed my hand around empty air, I felt hot blood run like a drink down my throat.

But the spell never reached her chest. A shield sprang from midair, reaching over Valerie and her friends as a globe that rippled as my magic met with it. The curse, blue in the air but black as it fanned out across the shield, searched for a hole in the defense; finding none, it surrendered itself with the sound of a shattering glass, and gradually, the barrier faded into nothingness.

There were gasps and even a few screams, and I knew that all over the field, people had sprung to their feet in shock. To the left of us, the headmaster stood frozen to the spot, extremely pale and sweating. The teaching assistants on the other side stared at Valerie and her friends. Nobody moved but the prince, who lowered his outstretched scarred hand and glowered at me. I tried to look at him. I tried to form some expression resembling shock or remorse on my face, but it would not come as I watched Valerie, feeling sparks jump between my fingers.

“Go,” he snapped as though I was a servant to be bid about. My eyes flicked toward him and straight back to Valerie. I did not move.

“That’s an order, duchess.”

Courtesy in respect to rank, loyalty to Athenea, strict adherence to the Terra Treaties.

My feet began to move. I tore my gaze away from Valerie and watched the ground in front of me instead. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her square up, her fists clenching.

“Don’t so much as move an inch toward her, Valerie.”

My eyes snapped up to the prince, and his expression softened. I focused on him and not the other students as I walked, faster and faster, wanting to break out into a run and get myself out of there, because I was afraid of what my anger would do next. I tripped down the steps and heard the thud of the prince’s feet behind me.

She deserves to die.

My breathing hitched, and the anger exploded against my ribs and sank into the pit of my stomach. If he hadn’t been there, a personification of Athenea’s authority, I would have turned straight around and finished her off.

All of a sudden, the prince grabbed my hand and tugged me along the path behind the hall building. He led me all the way around until he found a secluded corner and, without noticing how muddy the ground was, pulled me onto the grass.

“She’s not worth it,” I heard him say as I was spun around so my back was against the wall and he faced me, arms folded, lips pursed. I registered the blackening anger in his eyes, but it was nothing compared to my own. My breathing would not slow and Icould still feel a burning in my palm where sparks leaped around. Dancing on my tongue were several curses that would at least put her in the hospital.

“Autumn, you’re not in control, you need to—”

Animated voices sounded around the corner and he hushed midsentence, waited for them to pass, then switched to Sagean.

“Aclean. Calm down. Take deep breaths.”

I closed my eyes, forcing air into my lungs, waiting for the anger to seep away. I tried not to think of her; I tried not to think of anything, to become numb, but it was impossible with the sound of his breathing, husky and more erratic than my own. Listening to it, I felt the fury ebb away to be replaced with shame. Shame, then fear, as the full realization of what I had just done hit me.

The previous guardian at Kable had been banished for accidentally wounding—fatally—a student. But I had intentionally tried to injure a human. The Terra set out a far worse punishment for such a crime. Death.

I slowly opened my eyes. He stood in the same position, but this time the composure had disappeared.

“Are you out of your mind?” he suddenly exploded after a minute of silence. His arms unfolded and flew into the air beside him as he took a step toward me. I shrank away into the wall. “Do you have any grasp on what you just tried to do?”

Each time I inhaled, my breath split in two and my lower lip began to tremble as I shook my head. “It was an accident, she provoked me—”

“How long has she been bullying you?” His right hand slammed against the brick wall beside my head and his face moved closer to mine.

I glanced at his splayed fingers nervously. “W-what?”

“You’re a duchess; you were brought up to not lose control so easily. She must have been filing away at your patience for you to do this. How long?”

I kept shaking my head, looking at his shoes to avoid the fire in his eyes. “A year, maybe.”

“Since you arrived?! Why haven’t you reported it? I heard what she said. That was more than bullying, it was racism!”

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” he repeated, raising his left hand and closing his forefinger and thumb so they were almost pinching. “Autumn, you came this close to blowing her to pieces! This close to breaking the Terra! I won’t report you, but if that curse had hit her there would be no sheltering you.”

I blinked back the tears in my eyes, feeling a mixture of relief and horror, because his words were true. There was no hiding when the Terra were breached. There was no mercy in the law courts, because they were the only thread that suspended us in a state of peace with the humans.

“I know,” I whispered. “I know.”

He closed his eyes briefly and groaned, placing his other hand on the wall the other side of my head. “Do you have a death wish? Because what you just did makes it seem like you do.”

“I—I . . .” I couldn’t answer and neither could I shake my head. Instead, I ceased my attempt at holding back the tears. They slithered down my cheeks and plummeted as I hung my head.

“Autumn?”

My bisected breathing became rasps, and the rasps sobs. There was no stopping the misery now. I knew that much. It was an insatiable beast, but its touch had become silken and light over the summer as hope had surfaced. But that had been a deception; soft strokes to entice. It was back. Yet. Though it was a cold demise, it was not a product of mine. No. It had been caused by him. The prince.

“Autumn Rose? Tell me you’re not being serious?”

Now that brief moment of flattery in the car the week before disgusted me, because it was he who had dragged up so many things that I had learned were better buried, for my own well-being and sanity.

“Please?”

I could not say anything.

“Autumn, a death wish? Do you mean you want to take your own life? Mortalitas voltana?” His face crumpled and his hands closed around my shoulders, shaking me slightly.

I raised one shoulder, intending to shrug, to look nonchalant, but couldn’t summon the energy to do any more, to deny what he said.

“No? You’ve thought about it then?”

I gave a small nod.

“B-but why? What is it? Is it your grandmother?” He shook me even more and when I didn’t answer, pulled me into a crushing embrace. I sprang back before my sobs heightened, tripping over my own feet to put as much distance between us as possible. “Autumn? What is it? Tell me!”

It’s you! I wanted to scream, and I would have if it had been completely true. But it wasn’t. It was everything.

“E-Extermino . . . Not saving that human man . . . V-Valerie . . . Your stupid orders about my grandmother! I hate your stupid orders!”

Through my blurred, frantically blinking eyes I could see him watching me in horror as I backpedaled, summoning the magic still brewing after Valerie’s words, and took to the air.

Let me be numb again, I thought. Let me bury the depression as best I can. Burying is better than this.

The wind slapped against my cheeks, bitter and stinging. But behind my closed eyelids, it was not air making contact with my cheek, but a hand. Once, twice. Hard enough to leave an imprint.

“Stiffen that upper lip, child! Kindness only comes when you are strong, because when you grow up the world will fall on your shoulders! You are my heir; how dare you cry? How dare you be so weak? How dare you lose your mask?”