I stared at him in a daze as he gripped the arms of his chair and hauled himself back onto it with difficulty. His cheeks reddened. Scowling, he let out an anguished breath before turning his chair around and returning to the bedroom.

Tom hurried in through the door, along with Shayla, and they reached him before he could attempt to help himself back into his bed. They eased him onto the mattress before Shayla checked his head.

I cast one last glance his way before leaving the room. As I stepped out into the corridor, hot tears prickled the corners of my eyes. God, why am I so sensitive? It’s pathetic.

I guessed it was just the shock of finding him there, lying splayed on the floor, and then his lashing out at me immediately afterward when I had been trying to help him.

But as I dug deeper into my emotions, I realized the real reason behind my tears. I felt intensely saddened by my patient’s plight.

He wanted to be a man, he’d said. Yet here he was stuck with us, more incapacitated than even a child… with no way out in sight.

It didn’t matter how nice or kind or accommodating we were to him. It didn’t matter how beautiful or cozy or pristine Meadow Hospital was.

He was a bird trapped in a cage.

I have to find some way to free him.

Grace

I figured that it was best to give it some hours before subjecting Josh to me again. He had obviously been deeply embarrassed. I’d seen the flush in his cheeks. Maybe I would even wait until tomorrow to return. Give him some space. I was sure that Shayla would understand.

Besides, I had some thinking to do in the meantime.

I went straight back home to my room. I pulled up a chair and sat down at my desk before powering on my laptop and pulling out my notebook. At times like this I was endlessly grateful that we could access the internet in The Shade.

I surfed the web, researching and brainstorming for hours, while jotting down ideas and comments in my notebook. Once I felt that I had researched all that I could, I left my bedroom and headed for the large storage room toward the back of the apartment. My father kept exercise equipment here, among stacks of boxes. I began sifting through his equipment, trying to see if anything was suitable. Not much was, but there were a few pieces. I retrieved them from the shelves and set them down in the corridor.

Next, I headed for our three spare bedrooms and poked my head inside each of them. We didn’t have any guests staying here now, of course. And we did not have guests all that often. Usually it was one of my cousins come to stay over.

As I stepped into the third room, I knew that this was the one. This had the largest windows of all three and afforded the best view—miles of redwood forests, a glimpse of the Black Heights, and in the far distance the ocean. Also, this room was pretty bare already, with just a single bed, a chair and a bedside table. It would not take much effort to clear it. I dragged the furniture out and stuffed it into the room next door before going back for the exercise equipment I’d taken from the storage room. I left it in the now-empty guest room and then exited the apartment.

My next stop was a visit to the senior school’s gymnasium. It was empty of pupils at this time, and there were no adults around from whom I could ask permission to borrow some things, but I was sure that nobody would mind. I milled around, scanning the equipment and deciding which would be most suitable, just as I had done with my father’s. Most of the stuff here was heavy-duty, far too weighty and bulky for me to carry without help.

I was considering returning to the hospital to have a word with Shayla, but as I stepped out of the gymnasium, I caught sight of Shadow bounding across the school yard, Anna’s sons—young Kiev and his older brother Jason—close behind the mutt. Both of them were vampires. Great. I didn’t need any more help than them.

I called over to them and explained what I needed to do, and they gladly agreed to help. And so the three of us transported all of the equipment that I had singled out in shifts back to my apartment. Shadow could’ve helped us if we had had some sort of sledge or cart he could’ve pulled along. Instead, he proved to be a bit of a hindrance, constantly jumping up at me to lick my face. He always got more excitable around me than others, and I was not quite sure why. Perhaps because I rarely took him for walks and I was more of a novelty to him. He definitely slowed down the process, but within an hour, we had filled up the spare bedroom to my satisfaction.

I said thanks to Jason and Kiev before they headed off, leaving me to begin arranging the room. This took me almost as long as bringing the stuff here, as I tried to put some real thought into it. Once I was done, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face… There was one more touch, however. I returned to my room and grabbed my MP3 player and speakers, and hooked them up in one corner. Perfect.

The way Josh made a habit in the mornings of wheeling up and down the corridor before he wanted to do much else made me think that in his previous life, he’d had some sort of strict morning regimen. Well, now, if he liked what I’d done, he could come here instead. Every single piece of equipment I’d selected was specifically meant for strengthening the upper body: arms, chest and torso. He might not be able to move his legs, but if he took it slowly and steadily, and didn’t strain himself, I was certain that he could bring his faded muscles back to life… and maybe in the process feel more like a man.

I felt quite proud of myself as I gazed around the room, wiping my brow with the back of my hand. Since I had decided to give Josh a break from me for the day, I spent the rest of it catching up with homework. Though I found it hard to concentrate. I kept imagining myself showing him the room tomorrow and wondering how he would react. Whether he would be delighted or… something else. I hoped at least that it would bring a smile to his face.