My entire body stiffened. “In case I tried to kill her.”

Danny held out his hand. “Don’t be mad. He still considers you a friend, but he’s convinced you knocked out Emme that day at the house.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “I know. I just wish I could tell them.”

Danny wrapped his arm around me. “Someday, you will. Someday they’ll all know what Anara has done to you.”

My stomach tightened. “Not if I want to keep them alive.”

Although I remained on edge, Danny’s presence and calm demeanor settled my nerves. We both slipped beneath the polka-dot pink covers and fell asleep.

Pounding on the door and the sound of music in the distance jerked me awake less than an hour later. I flipped on the unicorn lamp next to me. “Yes?”

Liz stormed in, ice-blond hair mussed from sleep, fingernail file pointed right at me. “Celia, I’m a patient vampire.”

“No, you’re not, Liz.”

“Okay, fine, I’m not. But your freaky friends are getting out of control.”

Danny sat up and rubbed his eyes. I didn’t know what the hell Liz was bitching about. Emme was asleep and Bren lay in a coma.

Edith stomped into the room next, wearing an itsy-bitsy nightie and her damn boots. “Did you ask her if we could kill her?”

I yawned. “Who do you want to kill this time?”

“The were doing the really bad John Cusack impression.” Tim strolled in with a naked woman riding piggyback as his only accessory. She bit his earlobe and couldn’t give a fig that Danny and I sat there gawking at her.

Agnes bolted in with binoculars. “Follow me. You’re not going to believe this.” She swept past me and threw open the doors leading out to the terrace. Tim and his snack were kind enough to pull back the pink heart curtains so I could pass. I gave them ample space. Agnes shoved the binoculars into my hands and pointed out to the lake. “Look.”

There, standing on a rowboat in the rain, holding an old boom box over her head, waited Heidi while Peter Gabriel blasted away on the gigantic speakers. I put the binoculars down, blinked a few times, and then looked again.

Emme poked her head through the drapes. “Is something wrong?”

I ignored her and addressed Danny. “Has Heidi been calling you?”

“Yes, why?”

“Have you been returning her phone calls?”

He watched me carefully. “No. I told her we needed time apart.”

“I think you should reconsider.” I handed him the binoculars and moved aside.

“Holy crap!”

Danny thought it best to “talk” with Heidi in the guesthouse. I returned to Misha’s room, ready for some much-needed uninterrupted sleep.

Someday scientists may discover a cure for my delusions of hope.

Frantic knocking woke me around 3:00 A.M. “Come in?” I croaked. The Catholic schoolgirls raced in with Hank, Tim, and Chef. Their terrified scent struck me down to my toes. Suddenly I was wide awake. “What happened?”

Thunder boomed in the distance. They crouched like the roof was caving in. When the noise settled, they glanced around at one another and shoved Hank forward to speak on their behalf. “We need to sleep with you,” he muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“Not in that way, Celia.” Edith winked. “Although you look really cute in that nightie.”

“It’s a tank top.”

She hurried forward and sat at the edge of the bed. “Are you wearing panties?”

“Of course I am.”

“The lacey ones that look like thongs?”

I gave up on Edith and focused on Hank. “What’s going on?”

Hank straightened and puffed his chest out…a little too much. “Celia, our master’s absence has weakened our bond and temporarily robbed us of our courage. There’s only one way to get it back.” Again with the puffy chest. “We must get close to you because you are so close to him.”

“Meaning…?”

“We must spend the night with you.”

The vamps met me with eager if not lecherous grins. “If you’re telling me I have to have sex with you, you’re out of your damn minds!”

Tim moved toward me. “Perhaps I should explain.”

“Uh, yeah, please do.”

“Of all the family, we are the closest to the master. Hank and I, because we guard him; Chef, because he interacts with him several times a day; and the girls…well, because of the multitude of times they’ve had sex with him.”

“I can give you some pointers,” Maria offered.

Tim continued unaffected, unlike me. I was ready to run out of there screaming. “By spending the night in your presence we will be reenergized by your aura, given your link to the master.”

“How will it affect me?” I asked, more for my baby’s sake than my own.

Edith sighed. “Celia, don’t worry. If we munch on you, we’ll only screw ourselves. You’re the only one keeping us together.”

Liz sensed my growing apprehension and tried to sweeten the deal. “Let us in bed and we’ll give you tips to please the master. There’s this one thing I do with my thumb that—”

“Uh, thanks, Liz, but I’m good.” I pulled the sheet up to my chin. “Tim, will this weaken me at all? I need my strength to…keep things running.”

“Nah, the worst that’ll happen is that our dreams will invade yours.”

Terrific. The thunder blasted and everyone jumped into bed with me. “Are you guys normally afraid of thunder?”

Maria answered with her head buried beneath a unicorn. “No. But like Hank said, de distance from our master has left us weakened.”

I took in the trembling bodies huddled around me. “In other words, if we’re attacked you’ll be too scared to fight and I’m on my own.”

“Yes,” the bastards answered without so much as a hesitation.

Maria poked her head from beneath the fuchsia bedspread. “We’ll watch helplessly while some evil creature plays with your intestines.”

Awesome.

Edith patted my hand. “Don’t worry. The other vampires are still fine and we should regain our strength come sunrise. However…”

“Yes?”

Edith yawned and snuggled closer. “The rest of the family will probably join you tomorrow night.”