Wolfsbane Page 74

Snarls and shouts diminished, replaced by our panting and the Searchers’ gasps for breath. Our heavy exhales formed tiny clouds in the cold air.

“Where are we?” Ethan finally asked.

He was half lying on the ground, propped up on one elbow, his mangled arm lying limp across his chest. Sabine crouched beside him, examining his shredded forearm. Bryn, Mason, and Nev were still in wolf form, huddling in a tight bunch slightly apart from the others.

Adne didn’t answer Ethan; she had collapsed at Connor’s feet. He put one hand on her head, stroking her hair, while he scanned our surroundings.

“Looks like we’re on the roof of the building next to the club.”

“The roof?” Ethan asked. “Is that right, Adne?”

She didn’t respond.

“Adne,” Ethan said again. “Where are we?”

“Leave her alone,” Connor snarled.

“I’m not trying to be an ass,” Ethan replied. “But we’re not exactly out of harm’s way yet. We need to get back to Denver.”

Adne slowly uncurled her body, rising unsteadily. She stepped away when Connor reached for her.

“He’s right, and yes, we’re on the roof of a nearby building. I’ll open a door home. Just give me a minute.”

She stumbled away from us, wiping at her face.

I sat on the ground and shifted into human form, drawing my knees up to my chest. A part of me thought I should go to my packmates and make sure they were okay. Their first trip through a portal was probably a shock that only added to the stress of our escape. But I couldn’t bring myself to join them; my mind was still reeling from what had happened in the northern cell block. I closed my eyes, body awash with not only grief, but a wave of confusion.

Just like your father.

What Emile had said didn’t make any sense. The way he’d smiled at Monroe when he’d spoken the words made my skin crawl. Why would he have called himself a fool? For thinking he could ask Ren to hurt me when he still loved me?

My body ached with loss as I realized how likely it was that I would never see Ren again. And if I did, it would be as his enemy.

“Calla?” I opened my eyes to see Sabine kneeling in front of me. Now in human form, Bryn, Mason, and Nev stood just behind her.

“Yeah?” I said.

Sabine swallowed, her eyes glistening. “I was too busy fighting to see that you came back without the others. But now that we’re here and they’re not . . .”

A lead weight settled on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

“They’re dead, aren’t they?” Sabine choked out the words.

I couldn’t answer; my throat felt raw. I stared at her grief-filled face, not wanting to share a truth that would be more painful than what she believed had happened.

“Allof them?” Bryn whispered, her own face crunching up in sorrow. “Even Ren?”

“No,” I whispered.

Connor had quietly come up behind me. He laid a hand on my shoulder.

“You saw them?” Mason asked. “And they’re still in there? Alive?”

Sabine’s stricken expression became a scowl. “You let us leave them behind?”

Ethan rose unsteadily and joined our group, drawn by the rising tension. “What’s wrong?”

Sabine was still glaring at me. “How could you?”

“Calla had no choice in the matter,” Connor said.

“Of course she did,” Sabine snapped.

Even Bryn’s face fell, full of disappointment at my apparent cowardice.

I couldn’t look at either of them anymore, so I stared at the ground, tears burning in my own eyes.

“We didn’t leave them behind,” Connor answered for me. “I was with Calla when she found the rest of your pack.”

“Then why aren’t they here?” Sabine’s eyes narrowed.

“They stayed, Sabine,” Neville said quietly, taking in Connor’s somber gaze. “They stayed with the Keepers.”

“No,” Bryn said.

“That’s impossible,” Sabine hissed. “Cosette would never stay with them!”

“It’s true,” Connor said. “They attacked Calla.”

“Why would they attack Calla?” Mason asked.

“Emile,” I said. “They were taking orders from Emile.”

“And Ren?” Bryn asked, voice quaking. “He stayed too?”

“Yes.” He stayed because of what I did to him.

“Damn.” Nev walked away, shaking his head. Mason followed him, sparing me a sad smile before he left.

Sabine was crying softly. “Oh, Cosette.”

Ethan cleared his throat. “Look, if this Cosette stayed behind, it was only because she was afraid.”

“More afraid of leaving than of what will happen to her with me gone?” She choked on the words. “I can’t protect her from Efron now. She knows what he’ll . . .”

“Better the devil you know,” Connor said. “It happens.”

She shook her head and sobbed.

“You were close?” Ethan asked quietly.

“I . . . I always thought of her like a sister,” Sabine said. “I just don’t understand.”

“Calla.” Bryn took my hand. “About Ren . . . are you—”

I held up my hand. “I can’t, Bryn. Please.”

Guilt. Shame. Regret. An avalanche of feelings crashed over me. I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to explain what had happened.

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