Wildest Dreams Page 60

He laughed. “I can hardly peel you off me,” he said. “You climb me like a tree and I love it. Take your time, but let’s not pretend you don’t know what’s going on here. And let’s not be deceptive. It just never works.”

“And then, like high school, do you have what you want and move on to the next cheerleader?”

His expression grew serious. “Is that what happened?” he asked her.

She looked away. He gently grabbed her chin and turned her head back to face him. “Lin Su, is that what happened?”

She shook her head. “Not until I told him I was pregnant,” she whispered. “Please, I don’t want Charlie to know that. I want him to think his father was a good and faithful man.”

“He was just a boy, I think. And you were just a girl. But we’re not kids. We’re not screwing around in the moment. We both know there’s more at stake. We both know there’s a fourteen-year-old boy involved and we’re not going to risk his feelings. I don’t want Charlie to think he can’t trust us.”

“Does that mean we don’t make love until we’re serious?” she asked.

“I am serious. But I think you’re still a little worried about whether you can trust me. I think the only way I’m going to convince you is by showing you, and if it takes a while, I understand. But you don’t have to be afraid I’m fickle.”

“You left a lot of perfectly great women because you were afraid to get involved,” she reminded him.

“No, I never got involved with a lot of perfectly great women because I was afraid of commitment. I wasn’t happy with that, either. I wanted a real relationship, Lin Su. I always have, since I was a kid. I think underneath it all a lot of people want that.”

She had wanted that, she recalled. “I fantasized I would have that with my first love,” she said.

“Yeah, but you were a kid. You’re not a kid anymore. You grew up. Haven’t your expectations grown up, too?” He gave her a kiss. “I think Friday or Saturday night we try a date. Dinner. We can drive over to Bandon or up to North Bend if you like. Tell Charlie I asked you out on a date, and if you feel like inviting him along, that’s fine with me. If you don’t, that’s fine, too.”

“He’ll think something is going on with us.”

“Something is,” he said. “Let’s let it. It feels so good. Don’t be afraid—I won’t hurt you. And I won’t abandon you.”

“You can’t be sure, Blake. Your feelings could change.”

“And so could yours,” he said. “But I’m willing to risk it. I think this works, you and me, and I don’t feel like giving it up just because something might go wrong someday. And I don’t think it’s good to be deceptive, to have this secret that we’re seeing each other, that we’re romantic, pretending we’re not.”

“Aren’t we just being private?” she said, reaching for a way out.

“We can be private without pretending we’re not involved. Lin Su, you’re sitting on my lap. I just had my tongue down your throat and we were talking about sex. Like it or not, we’re a couple.”

“Ah, jeez. Can’t you tell I have a lot to get used to? That I’ve never had a man in my life?”

“Well, now you do.” He pulled her closer. He kissed her again. “I think you’re afraid of not having all the control. You like control.”

“Survival,” she said.

“Oh, I know,” he said with a laugh. “That’s something I understand.”

They spent the next hour making out like teenagers. “I have to get back to Winnie,” she finally said. “I promised her I’d be back at three-thirty.”

“Think about what we talked about. We don’t have to be embarrassed to say we like each other, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll practice that.”

As she walked back to Winnie’s house, she was talking to herself, reminding herself that men and women checked each other out, spent quality time together to see if they were compatible, and people around them knew. Sometimes it was a misstep, and they didn’t end up together, but sometimes that was for the best. Yet sometimes... Yes, we’re dating... Blake is such a lovely man... That didn’t sound too scary.

She’d begin by practicing on Winnie. She entered the house quietly. Mikhail was asleep on the sofa in front of the TV, arms crossed over his chest. All those nights in the chair in Winnie’s bedroom during the night probably left him tired. She tried not to disturb him as she went to Winnie’s bedroom.

She gasped.

Winnie sat on the floor. She looked dazed and her lip was bleeding. She hung on to the leg of her walker with one hand.

“Winnie!” she said, crouching beside her. “Mikhail!”

Winnie touched her lip, then her cheek. “Damn,” she said.

Mikhail was in the doorway in an instant. “What happens here?” he demanded.

“I guess I fell. It was the damnedest thing—my leg just wasn’t there. I was just getting my walker and one leg...”

“Mikhail, call Dr. Grant and tell him Winnie took a fall.”

“Help me stand up, Lin Su,” she demanded.

“Just wait. Is your leg numb? Tingling?”

“It wasn’t asleep,” Winnie said. “It just wasn’t there.” She began rubbing her leg through her slacks.

“I’m going to gently move your leg,” Lin Su said. “I want to look at it, see if you’re injured. Do you feel it now?”

“Barely.”

Lin Su slid the pant leg up so she could examine the leg and found the ankle to be slightly swollen.

“It’s happening,” Winnie said, her voice weak. “I’m losing more function.”

“Try not to worry. We’re prepared. I think you might have injured your ankle. Let’s see what Dr. Grant says.”

“He’ll be here in half hour, maybe less,” Mikhail said.

Lin Su gave Winnie’s cheek a soft stroke. “I won’t leave you again,” she said.

Winnie laughed. “Are you going to give up your entire life for me? We know this is going to get worse.”

“I’m going to be here when you need me,” Lin Su said. “I won’t have you falling because I’m not here.”

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