A promise I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep, but one I would die trying to honor.

Days and days seemed to pass, the truck stinking of piss and shit. The Wraiths threw us bread and water but never stopped to give us fresh air or clean clothes. And they never once stopped to let us use a toilet. Instead we soiled ourselves. We had to sit and sleep in shit.

I’d stopped smelling the stench after a day or so.

Suddenly the truck pulled to a stop. Low voices sounded outside, but the sound of crying and fear clogged up the back of the truck.

The locks on the rolling door of the truck bed rattled, and in seconds the door rolled open, blinding light replacing darkness. I flinched as the light burned my eyes. I wrapped Inessa in my arms to shield her from the pain.

Male Wraiths dressed all in black flooded into the back of the truck, the metal batons in their hands slamming against the steel cages. The noise was deafening after days and days of painful silence.

A shadow reached our cage and snapped the lock. Tucking my nose into Inessa’s hair, I ordered, “Keep hold of me, dorogaya moya! I’ll keep you safe.”

I felt her little head nod and I crawled from the cage just as the male Wraith hit the cage again and ordered, “Get out!”

My legs were weak when I stood. I fought to keep hold of my sister. I gripped on tight, my heart increasing in speed the closer I got to the outside. My breath misted into white puffs as we hit a wall of cold. It was freezing outside; snow covered the ground.

I climbed down the steps, only for the Wraith to point me toward the end of a line. The place was silent as I walked down the line. I stared at the children’s faces, recognizing some from my dorm or from the canteen.

My eyebrows pulled down when I saw that all the children in the line were boys. A flicker of movement caught my eye on the other side. When I turned my head, a line exactly like the one I was in stood opposite. Except they were all girls.

A whoosh of breath left my chest when I saw the Wraiths were splitting us up. My body tensed and I felt sick at the thought of my little Inessa being taken from me. I held her tight, and I fought back tears at the thought of her being on her own, of her not having me to protect her.

The warmth of her breath drifted down my neck. I took my place at the end of the line. I stared before me at the long row of young girls, all crying or deathly still, all still dressed in their nightgowns, just like my Inessa.

Then I heard it. I heard the sound of heels on the ground, and I knew it was her. I focused on the ground, never lifting my eyes, when I saw her feet come into view. Inessa must have felt my body freeze, as she whimpered into my neck. She could sense my fear.

The familiar end of a whip landed under my chin, lifting my head. My eyes met the cruel eyes of the female Wraith. She stared and she stared, until her whip moved to run down Inessa’s back. My sister jumped at the feel, but her grip tightened around my neck.

Next, everything seemed to run in slow motion. The woman snapped her fingers and a Wraith began to approach. When he arrived at where we stood, he reached out and wrapped his hands around Inessa’s waist. Inessa screamed, but I held on tight. I fought and fought to keep hold, but as the woman’s whip came cracking down on my back Inessa slipped from my arms. Her pretty face was red and streaming with tears as the Wraith took her away. I pushed forward to run after her, but I was kicked to the ground and whipped across my body until I couldn’t feel my arms and legs.

My head rolled, pain pounding through my skull. My eyes stung with the cold, but I forced them open to search for Inessa. I screamed a silent scream as I saw the line of girls being led away through a wide arch. I tried to push myself to run after her, but another blow came down, pinning me on the snow-covered ground. I watched through blurred eyes as the girls faded from view. But at the last minute, the girl at the end turned, her dark hair in the bright rising dawn looking like a halo on her head. My breath was lost as I realized it was Inessa. I cleared my eyes, reaching out my hand. Just as she disappeared through the arch, she lifted her hand in a small wave.

She was saying good-bye.

Pain overwhelmed me, burning me from the inside. A sense of failure wrapped me in its embrace and I curled in on the floor. The sound of feet moving, crunching on the snow, hit my ears, but I didn’t move.

A pair of black boots came into view, and I heard the woman, order, “Get him up!”

Someone grabbed my arm and wrenched me to my feet. My head hung, defeated; then that fucking whip lifted my chin. The woman shook her head, then flicked her chin to a Wraith behind that pushed me into line along with the other boys.

We walked through the same arch, until a huge field came into view. Metal towers and fences topped with razor wire stretched as far as the eye could see. But there were no buildings. I wondered if it was a military base, until we came to a sudden stop. The line started to move again, but I couldn’t see where the boys in front were walking. Night Wraith guards surrounded us on either side, and when it was my time to walk my eyes widened at a set of stairs in a field, leading down.

The place we were being taken was underground.

My feet were heavy as I descended the stairs. We walked through a maze of corridors, until we came to a large room. “Sit down!” the Wraith guards ordered in Russian, so we would understand. The guard behind me pushed me into a chair. A man appeared behind me. There was a buzzing sound; then a razor was taken to my head, my messy black hair falling onto the floor around me.

In minutes my head was shaved. The Wraith guarding me pulled me to my feet. He pushed me into step behind the other boys. The line slowed down. When I got to the front there was a man behind a desk handing out black sweatpants.

The line stopped as I was handed my pair, and the Wraith walked before us. “Strip, leave your old clothes on the floor, and put on your new pants.”

We did as commanded, and once we were all in the black sweatpants, heads shaved, the line started to move again. Feeling a trickle down my chest, I looked down only to see lashes and blood from the whipping I’d taken outside. I didn’t care. They’d taken my Inessa. I wasn’t going to feel anything.

We walked and walked deeper into the darkened corridors, until the sound of buzzing and screaming drifted down the halls. The boys in front of me began swaying on their feet, sweat dripping down their backs. And one by one we approached the room of screams.

When it was my turn to enter, a man standing at the door handed me a piece of paper. When I looked up, there were rows and rows of flat beds. The boys were being forced down and a man took a buzzing needle to their chests. As I walked through the mass of beds to the free one at the end, I saw that numbers were being tattooed on their chests. I frowned, until I remembered the paper in my hand. Glancing down, I saw the number “194” staring up at me. I was pushed from behind, and a man next to the free bed took my number and pointed to the bed.