Everlasting Page 7

I start to speak up, start to say something, if for no other reason than the fact that I hate to see him this way. But he won’t let me. He’s far from finished. Still got a few more points he’s determined to make.

“If nothing else, the Shadowland has assured me of that. You were there, Ever, twice if I remember—the first time, through me, and more recently, because of Haven. So tell me, can you deny what I’ve said? Can you deny that it’s true?”

I take a deep breath, thinking about that horrible day when Haven slammed her fist right into my throat. Right into the sweet spot—my fifth chakra—the center for a lack of discernment, misuse of information, and trusting all the wrong people. One solid punch was all it took to kill me, to end me, to send me crashing, reeling, spinning into that horrible dark oblivion. The abyss. The home for immortals’ souls. Remembering how I’d swirled through the blackness, lost in the void, taunted by a never-ending stream of images of all my past lives. Forced to relive the mistakes that I’d made, all the misguided decisions, the wrongs I’d committed—feeling others’ pain as intensely as my own. Finding my way out only when the truth was finally revealed. Spared from an eternity of deep isolation when I was left with no doubt in my mind that Damen was The One.

My soul mate.

My one and only for all of eternity.

The sudden revelation along with my complete and total declaration, acknowledging the truth of Damen and me, of our love, is the only thing that healed me, absolved me.

The only thing that freed me of the burden of my weak chakra.

The only reason I’m sitting here now.

I nod, having nothing to add. He knows what I saw, what I experienced, just as clearly as if he were there.

“It’s just you and me, Ever. We have only each other. A prospect that may be more appealing to me than you, but only because I’ve grown used to a lone wolf existence.”

“We have Miles,” I say, quick to remind Damen how he’s now in on our immortal secret. “And Jude.” My breath stalls, still feeling a little weird about mentioning him in Damen’s presence, despite them recently deciding to bury the past and start fresh. “So, it’s not like we’re totally without friends, right?”

But he just shrugs, reflecting on the part I failed to mention, the part that’s too painful to utter. The fact that someday, Miles and Jude will be old and gray-haired, eating early-bird dinners and looking forward to a rousing game of shuffleboard, while Damen and I will be exactly the same, completely unchanged.

“I guess I just hate to see you and Sabine end it this way,” he finally says, gaze like an unexpressed sigh. “But maybe you’re right, maybe it’s as good a way as any. Seeing that it’s inevitable and all.”

I toss the pillow aside and reach for him. I hate when he goes dark like this, when his thoughts turn inward and he starts blaming himself. I’ll do anything to change the subject, to erase it completely. But he’s already turned, missing the gesture, so I drop my arm back to my side and pick at the comforter.

“Okay, so, barring a sit-down powwow with Sabine, what else did you have in mind? You know, for our winter break?” I ask, hoping to chase this dark cloud away.

It takes him a moment to respond, to lift himself above the despair. But when he does, it’s so worth it. The smile that lights up his face instantly brightens what once had the makings of a dark, dreary day.

“Well, I was thinking we could do something spontaneous, maybe even a little bit crazy. I was thinking we could actually try having a little fun for a change. You remember fun, don’t you?”

“Vaguely.” I nod, a willing player in this particular game.

“I thought we could take a vacation somewhere…” He shoots me a sly, mysterious look before padding toward the cream-colored leather chaise at the opposite side of the room. Reaching for the dark silk robe he’d abandoned along the arm sometime last night and quickly slipping it on. His body moving so fluidly it’s as though he melted right into it.

I study him carefully, wondering if he’d sincerely been planning something like that all along, or if he’s just trying to entice me with a plan he made up on the fly.

“But…” He pauses, securing the sash in a way that leaves it dipping low against his hips, the robe hanging open and loose, allowing for a wide swath of bare chest and defined abs to remain on display.

I slide my back up the headboard while lifting the sheet to my chin—his state of near nakedness making me extremely aware of my own. Still not used to living as a couple, living so intimately, the morning always leaves me feeling more than a little shy and inhibited.

“Ever, I know how eager you are to get right to the bottom of all the things that are bothering you. And, like I said last night, I’m willing to help…”

I look at him, bracing myself for the full-on brunt of his honed and polished negotiation skills. I can practically see the case he builds in his eyes.

“So, I’m willing to give it one week. I’ll give you one full week of my nonstop, undivided, crazy-old-lady-code-cracking attention, and then, when that week is up, if we haven’t gotten anywhere, well, all I ask is that you accept the defeat graciously so we can move on to my much better, much brighter, much funner plan. What do you say?”

I gnaw at the inside of my cheek, taking a moment to gather my reply. “Well, I say that depends.”

He looks at me, shifting in a way that loosens the robe ever so slightly. Expanding the view. Not playing fair.

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