Conviction Page 48

After a few moments, Liam lets go and heads to his mother’s side.

“I can remember as a kid people talking about their moms and how they hated them. Do you know there was never a time I felt that way? I never hated you because there was never a reason for it. You were the mother people wish for. Yeah, you called me to the carpet, but I deserved it.” Liam’s voice is reverent as he speaks of her. “I don’t think I ever told you how much you meant to me. I wish I had more time with you, Mom. I never thought you wouldn’t be around. You’ll never hold our baby or just be there to tell me to stop being stupid. What’s Dad going to do? We’re not a family without you.”

Liam takes a break then walks toward the window. He discreetly tries to remove the tears that are falling. This wrecks me, watching him handle his grief. The pain that he feels I want to carry for him. Be the rock he needs and heal him like he did for me.

I walk over to him and place my hand on his back.

“I can’t say goodbye to her. I can’t tell her it’s okay to die,” he says defiantly.

“You love her and she loved you. You don’t have to say goodbye.”

“She’s going to die the minute the machines stop.”

“And she’ll be surrounded by the two men in her life that she loves.”

“My father is going to die alongside her, Lee. He’s been with her since they were fifteen.”

Their love story mimicked part of my own, but I won’t say that. I want to point out that he’ll be okay just as I was, but I don’t. There will be a part of his father that won’t ever recover. A young love that stands the test of time isn’t something he’ll ever find again. He might not ever love again, but he’ll survive.

“Then you be the son you are. You remind him why he has to carry on. You give him the strength he’ll need . . . just like you did for me. There’s no one I know that’s as strong as you.”

“She was.” Liam looks over at his mother again and heads toward her. He takes her delicate hand in his and kisses the top of it. “I’m going to miss you. I hope you find Kristine in heaven and tell her I loved her. Tell her how she’d be an aunt to two little girls. Hold her in your arms and know that you’ll be in my heart. I was blessed to have you as a mother.” Liam puts her hand down and leans in. He gently presses his lips to the top of her head and then let’s out a deep sob.

I rush to his side and pull him into my arms. He holds me close and takes a few deep breaths.

“I’m here,” is all I can say to him. There are no words that will comfort him, and I’m not stupid enough to try. I offer him my love and my heart.

Aidan walks in a few moments later and looks at his wife. “I’ve said my goodbyes to you, Shannon. And we will meet again, my love.” He stands tall and almost ready. The Dempsey men stare at each other for a second before he speaks again. “Will you pray with me?”

We all gather around her bed and Liam’s father grabs my hand. I take Liam’s and they each grab Shannon’s. Linked together, we stand, and Aidan begins to speak. “Today, I’ll say goodbye to the only woman I’ve ever loved. We’ve lived a good life together. Had two children and learned that life isn’t always fair. It isn’t fair that Shannon will be taken from us so soon. It isn’t fair that she’ll never see the life that will come.” His words are shaky as emotion begins to take him. “But I trust that you’ll hold my love in your hands. You’ll take her pain away and reunite her with part of her heart that was lost. I pray you’ll keep her protected until I can make it to her. I’ll be there soon, my angel.”

Aidan releases my hand, but Liam won’t drop my other.

My stomach starts to clench and my hand automatically flies to it. Liam reacts instantly and sits me in the chair. “Please, stay off your feet.”

“It was just a small cramp,” I try to reassure him. It wasn’t even nearly as bad as the last time. I called Dr. Contreras yesterday and she explained the cramping would be normal and try to take it easy.

The doctor enters and explains what’s to come. We gather around as the doctors and nurses start the process. Liam sits in the chair with me in his lap. Aidan holds Shannon’s hand and refuses to let go. They work around him and he nods as they turn off the final machine. Thankfully, they turn the sound off on the heart monitor. Aidan tilts down and whispers in her ear with tears floating in his eyes. He speaks continuously until her heart stops beating.

He kisses her lips, lays her hand down on the bed, and walks out of the room.

I stand and Liam follows his father. I look out the window and see him pull him into his arms and keep his father from sinking to the ground.

 

 

We spent a week in Ohio after she passed. Her will stated her wishes and she demanded no funeral. She wanted to be cremated and her ashes be spread in her homeland. Aidan booked a flight for Ireland, and Liam and I returned home. He’s been quiet but seems okay. Aaron is coming over tonight and asked if they could talk. Mason and Liam had a call today and they’re going to allow him to stay behind from the deployment since a few new guys checked in. Instead of sending him to finish out the month, he’ll train and get everyone settled here.

Part of me thinks it was a favor, but all I can be is grateful.

“Okay, Aara, I’ve got ten bucks that says you can go on the potty.” He sits on the floor and plays with her while I rest on the couch.

The flights were a lot for me, and even though I did my best to take it easy, I want to be more careful now that we can be.

“You know she’s too young to be bought and you’re about to have a whole heap of diapers in your life.”

“But if we can get rid of one of them with diapers that’s a win,” he scoffs and goes back to Aarabelle. “Okay, princess, how does this work? Do you just tell me? Do we stick you on it?”

“Oh, Jesus.” I lean up, and he pins me with his eyes.

“Don’t make me tie you to the couch.”

“You don’t scare me.”

He crawls toward me with a gleam in his eyes. “Oh?” His moves are lithe and catlike. Liam’s mouth is a thin line as he approaches. “I think you like testing me.”

“I think you like to be tested.”

He reaches the couch and he scoops me into his arms. Quickly he places me on the floor and hovers over me. “No more tests. I think we’ve passed them all anyway.”

I smile and thread my fingers in his hair. “I’d say we have.”

Aarabelle stands and lies on top of Liam’s back. “Dada, up?”

He does a push up with her hanging on his back and kisses me when he comes down. She giggles and I hold her sides so she doesn’t fall. Liam goes slow and lingers when he reaches my lips.

“I think you’re enjoying this,” I giggle in between kisses.

“I’ll enjoy it more when you’re my wife.”

I struggle with how fast we’re moving. I want to marry him, give him a life, be his everything, but I also don’t want to hurt Aaron terribly. Aaron’s a good father and he’s trying to be a good friend. The one thing I think both of these men need is their friendship back. Liam saved Aaron’s life, and in a way, Aaron’s death gave Liam something. It’s messy and ugly, but my marriage wasn’t what it appeared.

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